Week Twelve - Paths not taken (or things I wish I'd known)

I drew a blank yesterday when I sat down to write - there was something there but I couldn't quite see it.  It vaguely came to me as I stared at the ceiling at something-past-midnight so let's go.

I should preface this by saying that it's Diabetes Week (8th to 14th June 2020) and so while this won't entirely depart from the mental well-being stuff I've talked about for the last three months, I was reflecting on my experiences specifically with diabetes more than usual last night.

I was trying to remember how old I was when I got got diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.  I always start by telling myself it was the October of my graduate year at university as I remember it being a fairly isolating experience in many ways.  But that's not true.  The date I mean - it was isolating in a lot of ways.  I remember trying to explain it all to a couple of my course-mates (and fellow 5-a-side colleagues) and how lower GI stuff like Shreddies would help.  "Shreddies - keeps diabetes locked up til lunch" still makes me smile.  But that must have been the start of my third year which was October 2001.

And that means next year will be 20 years with type 1 - half my life.  After that point it'll be something that'll be the bigger part of my experiences, not the smaller part.  Those 20 years without diabetes would always be a static thing, but soon that block of time will become a decreasing minority.

Memes for all occasions

Looking back at the start of this adventure I was woefully ill-placed to deal with it - not that there's ever really a good time to get diagnosed with a chronic condition but still...  A few ridiculous things really stand out from those first few months.  I remember being told to make sure I'd eaten before playing football at university so I'd cram all sorts in before a match and wonder why I was sky high afterwards.  I started off on mixed insulin so there wasn't really a concept (that I'd be told about at least) of correction doses so I just lived with it.

When I switched to basal/bolus a year or so later, that felt like a little more freedom, but I was still walking around with way too little knowledge in my head.  That's diabetes knowledge for those giggling at the back...  While I finally had the tools to finesse my own self-management, I didn't have the understanding.  One unit for 10g of carbs seemed to work, but I'm sure it took years for me to ask what would happen if I did insulin without food and finally understand if my levels were high I could just do insulin to fix it.  Seems so obvious now, but it was alien to me for so long.

And (as I gratuitously wield my crowbar) it got me thinking about other paths I'd not taken because of things I didn't know or was scared of finding out.  Opportunities I didn't take, places I didn't go, girls I didn't ask out, invitations I turned down... all because I was unsure of myself or scared.

I think what it made me realise (at nearly 1am...) is that the stress and anxiety that I've really only consciously started to be aware of has actually been around for a really long time.  Looking back, some "coping" mechanisms have been fairly common over the years (however cringe-worthy they were and how hard they are to let go of), some of the anxiety symptoms probably date back over 25 years.

So I think there are a lot of things I wish I'd known.  All the stuff I've accumulated over nearly 20 (TWENTY) years of living with diabetes would obviously have been hugely beneficial way back in 2001.  But I've been struck again by how much the mental aspects have been so important. Not just in terms of missing out on lived experience, self-confidence or self-esteem, but that overlap with managing the physical bits.

I had a conversation with someone recently about how easy it feels now to instinctively know what my insulin doses should be, and that the textbook answers don't reflect what I intrinsically know to be true about my own care.  But whilst that trial and error, and learning from those mistakes has been tough at times, it feels easy in comparison to understanding and managing things that aren't tangible or don't manifest themselves as physical problems to solve.

I don't know... it makes sense to me, and if you can relate too, that's good.  Happy diabetes week.  Until next time

Stay safe x

A smashed glass

Have you ever smashed a glass whilst putting the dishes away?  I expect you reacted in the same way I did - a modicum of cursing under your breath, thinking you could've had a tighter grip on it, and that you'd watched the whole thing play out in slow motion from the moment it slipped out of your hand.

Now have you done that same thing at a friend's house?  Whilst you probably reacted in the same way - the social embarrassment making it worse if anything - think about how your friend reacted.  Hopefully with some sense of concern ("are you OK?"), context ("it's only a glass") and compassion ("don't worry, it's not a big deal - I did the same last month").

So what does that mean?

The last blood glucose reading I was unhappy with was about four hours ago.  I was frustrated and angry with myself.  I'd started the day in double digits for the first time in over two weeks and I'd had to guess at carbs because I'd not brought weighing scales on holiday with me.  Much like the glass slipping out of my hand, I watched this unfold in slow motion.

The combination of waking up around 12mmol, simply putting my feet on the floor, and eating cereal where I was, at best making an educated guess about the carb content set off an all too familiar chain reaction.  Nothing overly catastrophic happened (I stayed in the 11-13 range for about 4 hours) but in the context of the previous fortnight of near-perfect levels, it felt rough.

I played it over in my mind, trying to work out what I should have done differently ("should" not "could" feels like a subtle but important semantic argument I think many of us are familiar with).

I should have waited until I'd dropped into single figures before breakfast because I know eating when I'm in double digits only perpetuates the problem.

I should hhatave been a bit more generous in my carb counting estimate because I know I have to force my levels down when I'm high first thing.  The chances of a hypo were remote.

But I didn't do any of that.  And so I silently berated and chastised myself all morning.  I kept checking my levels for any sign of a change in fortunes and had that feeling of being withdrawn from things more than usual.

And when the shoe's on the other foot?

Now I think about the last time I talked to a friend who had a similar experience with high blood glucose.  I didn't berate them, I didn't tell them to skip a meal and I didn't make them run through a mental list of things they should've done.

I was empathetic.  I know how crap it feels when you're struggling with this kind of thing.  I know how it feels trying to manage 'difficult' food and come out relatively unscathed a few hours after your meal.  I know how tough and unrelenting managing diabetes is.  I told them how I hoped they were feeling better soon, that I know how hard it can be and that however confident you feel, sometimes food will kick you when you least expect it.

What does this all mean?

So back to the glass and it's place as a metaphor for diabetes management (however clumsy it may be...).

It's easy to be overly critical, set higher standards and demand more from ourselves than we'd reasonably expect from others.  Whether that's related to doing the dishes, our working lives, or managing a chronic condition.   If we find it so easy to show empathy and be compassionate to others when they're having the kind of bad day we're all so familiar with, why is that self-compassion so hard?

Things are hard sometimes, and if we can acknowledge that for others, we should be able to do that for ourselves.  That self reflection is harder, and I think that's because we believe that knowing all the factors in play means we should have total control over them all the time.

That's all certainly true for me.  That's not to say it's easy to flick that switch and be fair and compassionate towards myself.  If it was something I could consciously turn on, I'd have done it ages ago.  That self-reflection takes time and practice but does make a difference.  Being objective and rational when looking at our own actions definitely isn't easy - our emotions always run high and make it harder, but the more we try, the easier I think we find it to get through our tougher days.

This was inspired by a short post I read on the idea of diabetes and self-compassion by Leann Harris which you can read on Diabetes Daily if you follow the link.  I'm also thankful to my colleague Odette for encouraging me to write again after about six months out of the game.

17626

Training miles completed this week: 9
Total training miles completed: 232
Training miles left: 0
Training runs left: 0

Hello again. Welcome to my last pre-marathon blog post!  It feels a bit surreal writing that to be honest.

I completed my final training run tonight -  a steady 3.5 miles (in a torrential downpour) over my old route as a wind down in preparation for Sunday.  I managed another 5 miles last Saturday night although the inclines are still causing me some shin-splint esque pain.  I'm still hoping that the flatter course will make the difference there (aided by pre-race paracetamol as well I think).

At the start of the week I was considering how it felt to be at the end of my training, to have done my last bit of race preparation, and to be honest, it's quite emotionally overwhelming.  I went back and read some of my earlier blog posts from September/October time, and I can't quite believe the progress I've made since then.  Going out and completing a mile (with a number of walk breaks thrown in) was a massive achievement back then and now it hardly feels woth going out to do less than 5 miles.

It also feels strange that I've wanted this so much since my Dad ran the marathon in 1988 (ish - I'll confirm that when he finds his medal) and now it's only a few days away.  I guess I'll not be focussing on that too much at the start on Sunday - I expect I'll be somewhat over-awed by the occasion and I'll be buzzing from the adrenaline a fair bit.  However, I do expect that when I turn down The Mall and finally see the finish line, there's a good chance I'll turn into some sort of blubbering emotional wreck (though I don't want to spoil my finisher's photo so I'll try and hold it together a bit).


I'll take injuries (most notably these shin splint pains that I can't shift) with me to the start line but as I said in one of my first ever blog posts, my aim is to get to the start line intact. Once I've done that I know I can get to the finish one way or another.

I promised you a bit of a Marathon-By-Numbers post last week and so here's what I've come up with:

17626 - my marathon running number.  I'll be going from the blue start at Blackheath
30,000 - number of other people also starting at Blackheath on Sunday
232 - number of training miles I've run since 18/10/2011 (just shy of 9 full marathons)
183 - days since my first training run.  It's been fully 6 months of training to get me to this point
4,500 - approximate amount of pressure (in tonnes) that I've put through my body whilst training (the "average" person sends 500 tonnes of pressure through their body over the course of a marathon run)
2-3 approximate difference in centimetres  in your height between the start and end of the marathon - compression of the discs in your back means you lose about an inch in height over the course. I'm going to test this on Sunday.
72 - the number of people to date that have parted with their money to sponsor me for the marathon
26 - people I've never actually met or spoken to (excluding the realms of the internet) that have sponsored me - thank you
1128 - the amount of money I've raised for Diabetes UK and The Sheffield Children's Hospital Charity to date
10.91 - my average minute mile since I started tracking my time on New Year's Eve
36 - total number of hours I've been out running throughout my training
6 - number of scheduled training runs I've missed in the last 6 months
5.25 - my projected finish time (in hours) for the marathon this weekend
1724 - (at the time of writing) the number of hits the blog has had since it started

I'm not sure what I'll do with this blog when the marathon is all over and done with.  I'll obviously be back next week to let you know how it all went, but after that.... I don't know.  I'd like to keep writing something, but I don't want to be one of those people that thinks having a blog equates to having a right to force their opinion on everything/anything on the world.  I have a Twitter account for that.  I'll guess we'll see eh?

I'm travelling down to London on Friday to get to the Expo to register and collect my running number and shoe tag and then I'm meeting up with my closest friends in the evening and we're seeing a show in the West End.  Saturday my lovely wife and I are having the laziest day possible (mostly hanging around the cinema in Leicester Square I think) before the race on Sunday.  I'll try and fire off a few tweets before the race starts if I can to show the start area and the build up etc (@BroomOwl if you're interested).  I'm not planning on doing anything during the race other than texting my family when I'm roughly half way round but I'll let you all know how it went afterwards. 

There's not much left to say now I think except a huge thank you to every one of you that's read the blog, sent me words of encouragement or clicked on the fundraising page to donate some money (you can still click on the link to donate if you want to).  Reaching my target with a week to spare has been a fantastic achievement and I won't let you all down now.  The support you've all shown me over the last few months has been incredible.  My Dad and brother-in-law are travelling down on Sunday morning to watch so I'll be looking out for them around Wapping and I'm so grateful they're making the journey down to support me.

I also owe my wife a massive thank you too.  Even though she doesn't actually read this blog at all ("it's too long"), she's made a number of sacrifices over the last year or so, and I really honestly couldn't do this without her and I hope she knows how thankful I am for everything she's done.

Thank you everyone.  I'll speak to you again from the other side of the finish line.

Take care

Andy

The final countdown

Training miles completed this week: 15
Total training miles completed: 223
Training miles left: 9
Training runs left: 2

Hello again

I'll start with an apology this week.  I didn't write a post last week and that was essentially for no other reason than I was sulking a bit about not running.

A day or so after my 20 mile run, I started to feel a bit of pain in my foot so I took a conscious decision to miss a run and let it heal a bit.  There's obviously no point running for the sake of it - an injury this close to the marathon needs to be looked after.  I thought I could miss one run and be back out to properly start my tapering.

Unfortunately I got a migraine which floored me for about 4 days (I think I've mentioned these before) and so I ended up missing another training slot.  That left me feeling a bit downbeat about the whole thing and I didn't feel that blogging any of that negativity would be particularly cathartic.  But I'm back now with my penultimate blog before race day.

I've managed 3 runs this week totalling 15 miles which is encouraging.  I did 4 miles last Thursday and followed that up with 5 and 6 miles.  It's a bit of a twist on the taper plan I had in mind, but I need to bear the injuries in mind and so I've opted for an extra shorter run rather than doing, say, 12 miles and reducing down after that.  I just need to make sure my legs still worked and I'm happy to report that they do.

Skipping the two runs last week has meant I've developed a bit of a complex about being underprepared.  I'm not sure how much of that is the "to be expected" pre race nerves, and how much of it I really believe.  By the time I get on a train to London at the end of next week, I'll have already run 232 miles - equivalent to about 9 full marathons.  I'd like to think that stands me in good stead but at the same time I have a nagging doubt that having done no great distance for a few weeks will be a bit of a set-back.  Hopefully it's the former.

I think nerves are natural at this stage.  I'm venturing into the unknown in more ways than one.  Obviously I've never run a marathon before and equally, I'm running on a route I'm wholly unfamiliar with.  I've also not run with anyone in this sort of race environment for about 17 years (The Rother Valley 10k for those of you in Sheffield).  All this is easily overcome I suppose - I'd just not really considered all these factors until recently.

I'm going to have to focus on my pace in the early miles - I don't want to set off too quickly and burn out too soon.  I know the first 5 or 6 miles can be done at around a 10 min/mile pace and I should hopefully be able to replicate my 11.5 min mile (ish) time to 20 miles.  That gives me a good guide to where I should be and when.  As I've stated all along though, as long as I get round before the medals run out (6pm) then I'll be ecstatic.

I'm considering Google-mapping the route before I set off.  I'm not sure if that's a bit OTT or whether I'll genuinely feel calmer for having visualised the route at least once before I set off.  In all likelihood, I'll probably get bored/frustrated after 2 miles of trying, but it could be worth a shot.


There's been some movement on the fundraising this last 2 weeks which is excellent!  Current total is £837.50 which is another £130 since I last blogged.  The generosity everyone has shown has been incredible!  I do still have some more donations that I've been promised as well so I hope I'll be able to get very close to the £1,000 target.  If you're thinking about donating then please know that even a couple of quid will make a difference - you can click on the subtle fundraising link above, or the less subtle one at the end of this post to donate.  Again, I can't thank people enough for what they've already done - I couldn't have wished for more. 

As always, all money that I raise is being split equally between Diabetes UK and The Sheffield Children's Hospital Charity - two very worthy causes. The Children's Hospital money will be going to help fund a summer camp for children with diabetes which is very worthwhile.

I'll blog next week after my last training run which in itself feels like quite an emotional milestone.  I'm going to do a bit of a "Marathon Training by numbers" post which will either be a bit interesting or not half as fun as I thought it would be - who knows?

As with the running, I feel a bit rusty with the blogging so hopefully this has been a moderately interesting post for me to return with.  As I say, I'll try and sum everything up next week and perhaps talk about where this blog goes after the marathon is all done, because to be perfectly honest with you, I don't have an answer for that just yet.

Thanks for sticking with me today and if you've been with me since the start, thank you for making it this far.  I really appreciate all the support you've all given me.

Take care and have a good week

Andy

You can donate at any time by clicking on this fundraising link

2011 - A Review

Hello.

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas.  And allow me to wish you an early 'Happy New Year' as well.

This is almost certainly going to be a longer post than normal so bear with it a bit.  I'm going to do my usual stuff about running and all that but finish off with a bit of a review of 2011 and a look forward to next year.

I mentioned in my last blog that I had three runs left before New Year.  Sadly that didn't quite turn out to be true.  I was all geared up to go running on Christmas Eve morning but I'd been feeling a bit more of an ache in my foot than was 'normal' so I decided to give it a miss.  I beat myself up about it for the rest of the day, but I think it was the right thing to do.  It seems like there's no point doing all the hard work just to be belligerent and run when I don't think my body can take it.

I did, however, get up at 6:45 this morning and managed 4 miles in a respectable 46 minutes.  The route is below, although I can't stress enough how steep two hills are over this distance.  Fortunately, these coincided with a couple of walk breaks so that was quite good...

It was nice to see the sun rising as I made it to the top of the first hill.  It was also nice to think I only had a mile left by that point as well.  Running on the flat feels really good and I managed a bit of downhill running as well today which felt OK.  I suppose training on the slopes of Sheffield can only be beneficial for the relatively flat course in London.

I'm starting to feel the after effects a bit more now and I'll have an ache and a bit of pain for a few days after each run now where before that wasn't the case.  With that in mind, I've decided to cut back down to 2 runs a week for a little while and see if that helps.  It'll make training a bit more difficult but as I've said a few times already, it was never going to be easy.  

I've negotiated Christmas Day and Boxing Day meals relatively unscathed diabetes wise which is really promising as well.  It's fair to say that December hasn't been as controlled as other months, but I feel like my understanding has been refreshed and that in itself means I can get through more difficult periods like Christmas without feeling like I'm spiralling out of control.

I've done pretty well to resist the various cakes, chocolates and biscuits that are laying around the house (to a certain degree at least).  I think my experiences with my diet and migraines over the last week or two is a bit of a factor in that as much as the diabetes, and, when all's said and done, I don't have the same appetite I used to have when I could eat plates of food without thinking.  I guess the diet and exercise has paid off quite a bit.

I had a bit of a difficult moment on Boxing Day when all the family went to my sister's house for lunch.  I'd just done my insulin injection (into my stomach as usual) when my daughter asked me what I was doing.  I told her that daddy had to do some medicine (which I've told her before).  But then she lifted her top up and started copying me saying "I do medicine".

I think I mentioned a while back when I was talking about my sponsorship and things about how I constantly have a worry that I've passed on my diabetes to her.  When she started mimicking my actions, it was quite difficult to take.  I'm now torn between doing my shot away from her so she can't see, or carry on as everything is "normal" - which of course it is for me.  I guess that's something I'll deal with over the next few weeks.

So - what has 2011 mean for me?  I've been thinking about some of the major things that have happened this year and while it's impossible to remember or mention everything, here are a few that have stood out for me:

• We finally moved house to be back closer to our family.  We sold pretty much a year ago and finally moved at the beginning of March
• Celebrated my daughter's first birthday (and now her second is on the horizon already), the old saying about how time flies never seems more true than when you're watching your kids grow up
• I had my first casino experience when I went to Las Vegas in September.  I've wanted to go for so long and it exceeded my expectations more than I thought possible
• I've made a lot of trips to see my beloved Sheffield Wednesday this season - one of the perks of being back home
• I've made a lot of new friends and contacts on Twitter which is really good
• I've got my physical condition back under control after a good three years of disregarding what I should be doing
• I've started running again after almost 4 years back when I thought it would never actually be possible again.  I know that sounds melodramatic but it's the honest truth

And now there's 2012 to look forward to:

•  My daughter's second birthday
• Running/walking/crawling round the London marathon course and hopefully making my magic £1,000 fundraising target
• A trip to the Olympics in London over the summer
• Hopefully a couple of long weekends away somewhere
• A friend's wedding in Poland on my birthday

And finally a few resolutions:

• Get good enough at photography to get one picture published somewhere
• Keep running and training for the Sheffield Half Marathon in 2013 (my nemesis)
• Do my best to focus on expanding my company 
• Stay involved with the community through sponsorship and donations
• Try and turn some online friendships into real life ones (if anyone online wants to of course)
• See at least 12 gigs (one a month seems a reasonable goal)
• Carry on my blog in some form or another after the marathon

I think that's about it for this year.  Thanks for all your support and kind words over the last 4 months or so. It's really encouraging and I hope I can do you all proud in April.  Remember, you can always donate to the cause on my fundraising page  if you'd like. Every single pound is most gratefully received and will do wonders for both charities. 

You can follow me on Twitter (@BroomOwl) or drop me an email (broomowl@gmail.com) if you fancy a chat.

Again, I hope you all have a great New Year's Eve, whatever you've got planned and I hope 2012 brings you joy and happiness.

Thanks for reading, take care

Andy

So this is Christmas...

The eagle-eyed amongst you have probably spotted that I've been naming most of my recent blog posts after 'appropriate' song lyrics so this title should come as little surprise.


This is the penultimate post of 2011 so I'll be firmly on topic for today.  Next week's will be a bit of a mix of training progress and a 2011 review/2012 preview.


I'm a bit sketchy on my dates this week (blame the impending chaos of Christmas) but I think I've run twice since I last updated this - 6 miles in total.  I had a mostly very pleasant 2.5 mile jog round Centre Parcs (Sherwood Forest) on Saturday morning.  It would have been completely pleasant had I not accidentally run through a bush at the side of the road and cut my face.  Whilst this is apparently amusing, I didn't see the funny side at the time.


Tonight I've done 3.5 miles (a new best distance) in 39 minutes which is just inside a 12 minute mile time.  Here's the route:

I managed my most sustained period of running to date as well which was pleasing.  I managed all the way from the start marker (above) to practically the Crown & Cushion pub.  It's not that far (just over a mile) but it represents a lot to me which is good.  Being able to take that impact without needing a break is good and hopefully over the next few weeks I'll be able to improve on that.


I've got 3 runs left before January and I'm hoping I can get a decent 4 mile run in before New Year.  My fundraising page tells me I've got 123 days to go before the marathon.  I truly believe that if I keep chipping away at it, I'll get there no problem!


Being diabetic this week has been....challenging.  As you probably know we had a long weekend at Centre Parcs this weekend.  That basically involved eating out for 3 meals a day for the better part of 4 days.  It also meant more indulgences that a) I'm used to and b) should have.  I roughly managed my blood sugar OK.  By that I mean I probably did as best I could given how difficult it was to find time to test my blood and make an educated guess about what I was eating.  I managed a horrifying 20mmol on the Saturday morning, and swung the other way to 2.7mmol on Sunday night.


As I've probably mentioned a few times, it can be quite frustrating when you're not exercising the amount of control you should be and that was certainly true this weekend.  I also 'confirmed' something that I've suspected for a little while, which is that a bad diet, even for a short time, leads to migraines.  I was in tears with pain on Sunday night which is probably the worst I've been for a long time.  I also know that once it's started, it's a good 3 or 4 days before it subsides properly.  It's just even more of an incentive to eat properly I guess.  Apologies for that segue...


I shall sign off there for this week.  To summarise, running - good, diabetes - OK, diet - causes migraines.


Thanks ever so much for all your support and kind words since I started this blog, you're all incredible and I truly thank you for all your encouragement.  Hopefully I'll do you all proud next year.  Remember you can donate (or invite others to) at the fundraising link above.   I know the charities don't affect a lot of you personally and I wouldn't dream of asking you to support something you didn't want to.  But if you know anyone who might like to then please feel free to share the link to the blog.


I hope you all have a fantastic Christmas and a good break from work if you're taking one.


Merry Christmas


Andy

Looking forward

Hello – thanks for stopping by.

First of all – apologies I’ve not posted for a couple of weeks.  Obviously being on holiday was a factor in that, and I wanted to make sure I had something meaningful to talk about this time.

I suppose the immediate good news is that I’ve not really felt any pain in my foot for a couple of weeks now (the most notable exception being on the flight home).  I think that’s quite a good sign really, especially when you consider the amount of walking I did while I was away.

I’ve also been swimming another couple of times this week which is quite handy.  It’s good to get the exercise and it gives me time to focus on what this is all about.

I’m not seeing the physio again until next Tuesday (11^th) but I’ve got some more physical exercises to do in the interim (think jumping up and down holding a football…) so hopefully I’ll get the go ahead to run somewhere next time!

I got my marathon acceptance letter and magazine through the post while I was away. I’ve not opened it yet as I don’t want to start getting ahead of myself by looking at all the training plans and reading all the articles about how hard it’s going to be - I’ve got a fairly good idea of that already…

The most difficult thing this last week or so has been getting my blood sugar back to some semblance of normalcy.  I was keeping an eye on it while I was in Las Vegas, but didn’t test it as often as I would at home.  As I may have posted before, trying to maintain a correct blood sugar level if you eat out for one meal is difficult, so doing it for a week is nigh on impossible.  Even the advice you get in clinic is “use your best guess” when eating out.

Having recovered from crippling jet lag by drinking an unhealthy amount of caffeine and sugar, I thought it would be easy to correct my sugar levels over the weekend and be back on track immediately.  It’s not been quite that straightforward but I think I’ve just about got a handle on it again.  I’m probably 1 to 1.5 mmol above where I’d like to be but nothing too concerning. (Educational segue – blood sugar levels should be around 4.5 to 7.5mmols (or so I was always told) and I try to average about 6 ish.  I’ve been around the 7.5 to 8.5mmol level for the last few days but that’s not too bad – I’m probably being harsh on myself).

Anyone who follows me on Twitter may have also spotted that I dipped into the low end of the blood sugar spectrum on Monday night just as I got to Hillsborough Leisure Centre.  Fortunately I managed to find a few rogue jelly sweets in my bag and got through it OK.  I’ve also been waking up early (4am) feeling a bit on the low side these last few days, but I’m managing to get back to sleep until my alarm goes off.

I think it’s a pretty natural part of adjusting from eating a very different diet for a week (not to mention eating at irregular times and flying messing with my insulin doses) so I’m fairly happy that things are back under control.

Weight wise, I’m still at 198lbs.  I’m tempted to feel bad about that and hammer my diet even more but the truth is I eat so few calories for 5 out of 7 days I can’t.  Plus I know being on holiday affected my weight so I think I just need to continue doing what I’ve been doing and I’ll continue to lose it.

I’ll post an update next week to let you know how the exercises have gone, what the physio says and whether or not I can be trusted to run even just a mile or so.

As always, thanks for reading.  At the risk of sounding like a teen drama series, if you want to get in touch for a chat about the themes of this blog, then you can always drop me a line on broomowl@gmail.com or find me on Twitter (@BroomOwl).  Of course if you want to chat about something else, that’s equally welcomed and encouraged.

Take care

Andy