Panic and Sleep

If you want to catch up you can find the pre-session, week one, week two, week three and week four posts in the links

Welcome to week five - dealing with panic and getting a better night's sleep.  Instead of covering these with the usual 'theory/practice' approach, I'm going to talk about them as two separate topics as that's really how we went through them in the session.  We were down to 10 (plus three people observing) yesterday which is a far cry from our 20 we started with, and I was a little surprised as I'd expected sleep to be a big draw.  One of the facilitators actually said that many people book onto StressControl explicitly for the sleep info as it's something that a lot of people want to know more about.  But first - panic:

Panic

We talked about what panic is and how those extreme feelings linked to fight or flight can, in some circumstances make us feel like we're dying.  A lot of the symptoms of panic are (unsurpisingly) similar to those of stress or anxiety - sweating, dizziness, heart palpatations, clammy hands, shortness of breath etc... Some regular readers may also notice that these are also symptoms some people experience when having a hypo (happy Hypo Awareness Week by the way...) so understanding the cause is really important.

We also talked about panic can be a response to a particular situation (confined spaces and having bloods taken from my arm), or can also be 'out of the blue' panic.  If you've never had a panic attack, it's not something I'd recommend.

In terms of management, a lot of techniques we've covered over the last few weeks came in to play.  Focusing on breathing is key as it helps us regulate our internal biology. We talked quite a bit about hyperventilating and how this adds to feelings of panic as you're upsetting the oxygen/carbon dioxide balance whichcan fuel some of the symptoms.  It's not something I have a lot of personal experience with though.

Aside from breathing, remembering to engage our rational voice helps - you might feel like you're going to faint, but if you never have, is that a likely outcome or is the fear fuelling the problem?  We didn't cover avoidance in relation to panic so based on my own experience, I can tell you I actively do avoid situations that involve confined spaces where I can.  I can't avoid blood taking though so it was reassuring that my own personal brand of coping (deep breaths, play some music, focus on something else) is largely in line with proper advice.  I think it's helpful to add in the rational thinking bit too though (although I very nearly did genuinely faint once...)

Sleep

It did feel like sleep was the thing with the biggest build up, so it may be disappointing to here how it was nearly all grounded in the most mundane, common sense approach imaginable.  As with most things throughout the course, it's reassuring that there's nothing too complicated to learn that's brand new, but also makes you wonder why you can't always see the easy common sense stuff for yourself.

We covered difficulty getting to sleep as well as difficulty staying asleep - I guess the difference between quantity and quality of sleep.  Very few silver bullets here, but some of the things worth remembering are:

1. Avoid caffeine before bed (and bear in mind it can stay in your system for up to eight hours)
2. Reduce hot drinks closer to bed time (although the benefits of an Ovaltine are the exception there)
3. Alcohol might help you get to sleep but it can affect the quality of your sleep and you shouldn't end up being dependent on it
4. Eating a big meal before bed means your body will be digesting if after you've gone to sleep which again can affect the quality of sleep you get
5. Cool (but not cold) temperature is best - around 18 degrees.  I felt particularly vindicated by this point as I'm a fan of sleeping with the window open
6. Reduce noise and light where you can (ear plugs, blackout blinds) but playing white noise can reduce the affects of environmental noise
7. Reduce screen time before bed (even where there are blue light filters)
8. Keep your bedroom for sleeping and not working, emails etc

We also covered how even small changes can have an impact so if you're struggling with sleep then some of these may be for you.

I think what I found frustrating here was the X factor that diabetes can chuck into the mix.  I didn't have a decaf coffee after about 5pm yesterday, cooled the spare room (early start means I get the spare room) and had ambient noise that I know helps me get to sleep.  And then I had a hypo at 2am and was up for about 40 mins before getting up at 4:40am...  

I guess you can only control what you can control, but the impact that diabetes can have on sleep is catastrophic sometimes.  I also know that weeks like this where I'll be sleeping in four different beds in seven days means I'll struggle.

So we're nearly at the end - next week is the final week of the course where we'll link all these bits together in an attempt to have a more concrete plan about improving our wellbeing and thinking about how we continue the work after the course has finished.  All the hard work is still to come I think as it's the ability to stay focused on these techniques away from a weekly structure.

Hopefully this has been helpful - see you next week.

Diabetes UK are running a hugely important campaign about improving the provision of and access to a variety of emotional support services. People with diabetes are twice as likely to suffer from burnout or difficulties with their own mental health compared to those without the condition. Some estimates suggest that one in ten people with diabetes are clinically depressed. You can read more about the vital It's Missing campaign by following the link. My story is just my story. If you need to talk to someone about how diabetes is making you feel, you can ring the Diabetes UK Helpline on 0345 123 2399 or you can ring Samaritans 24 hours a day on 116 123

Sometimes it doesn't quite go to plan

Last night I had a hypo.

Nothing overly unusual there really. Whilst thankfully not a daily occurrence, low blood glucose does play a frustratingly regular part of my life. This time it was different.

Since gate-crashing the last day of the Diabetes UK Conference a few weeks ago, I've been trying (with a modicum of success) to get back into some better habits with my diabetes. As with anything, it can be easier to slip out of a routine than stick to it.

So Friday night rolled around and in some vague celebration of us both being at home on the same evening, my wife and I settled on a Chinese takeaway (hurrah!) "It'll be 45 minutes" they said. I figured this was another good opportunity to get back into the habit of pre-bolusing for my meals. Takeaway is a bugger to get right at the best of times but I figured I'd give myself a fighting chance and get out in front of it.

To cut a potentially tedious story short, the food arrived late, I didn't check my levels before I took my insulin and I had an utterly rotten hypo. I've had a few bad ones before. I've sat on the bathroom floor at 2am for an hour chomping on Glucotabs like there was no tomorrow. I've eaten jelly babies and watched my levels go down instead of up. But I've always remembered those experiences - cautionary tales are often the best right?

This one was different. I remember eating a couple of marshmallows that my wife brought me (but I don't remember eating the others she gave me from the bag). I remember accusing her of stealing my glass of water (which I had in my hand) and I remember picking my dinner back up (but don't ever remember putting it down). It was almost like an out of body experience in a way. I knew I was hypo the entire time, I remember going through the motions of fixing it all, but at the same time I feel like I can't remember any of it. The best I can liken it to was like waking up from a dream.

This isn't a sob story by any means. Just another cautionary tale to add to the list. Taking my insulin without checking my blood glucose was, at best, misguided; more likely downright idiotic. Not checking my glucose until the food arrived was equally foolish. Trying to fix a hypo with chicken chow mein is simply an experiment that need never be repeated.

Image boosted from the Wikipedia article in the link below

It's a reminder to me, at least, how fragile the equilibrium with diabetes can be. It's the saddle point we're all subconsciously trying to ride as much as possible.  It doesn't take much to knock us from that point of safety.  As is often the case, my idiocy was my downfall this time.


I'm not blogging as frequently on here.  I maintain it's only worth writing when I've got something to say.  My Diabetes UK blogs still get published roughly once a month and if you're interested, you can find them on their blog site

T1D Looks Like Me

November is DIABETES AWARENESS MONTH (though I'm fairly sure every month is Diabetes Awareness Month...).

The current JDRF campaign for #T1DLooksLikeMe got me thinking about diabetes awareness.  I suppose to some extent there's a lot of awareness of the concept of diabetes at least.  The last few weeks alone have seen numerous TV programmes attempting to highlight some of the long term complications of diabetes and talking about what can be done to reduce the risk of developing Type 2 diabetes in the future.

The thing about living with a chronic illness like Type 1 diabetes is that it's all the things people don't see that really define what your life is like.  To borrow from Public Enemy, those who know, know; those that don't have no idea.

This is for those who don't know (yet).

Fourteen years of Type 1 diabetes in just four numbers

I've had Type 1 diabetes for just over 14 years.  I've had good days and I've had great days.  I've had bad days, and I've had terrible days, and I've had everything in between too.

As the graphic above says, I've had to inject myself with insulin almost 17,000 times (plus around 450 cannula changes since starting with an insulin pump in early 2013).  That's something that never gets any easier for me.  There's still always a sharp intake of breath and a second of silence before the needle goes in.  I still remember being told on the day I got diagnosed that I had to inject myself in the stomach multiple times a day otherwise I'd die.

I've had to test my blood glucose levels almost 31,000 times in the past 14 years (or around 6 times a day, every day).  Some of my darkest times I've had living with this were when I abandoned testing pretty much entirely for around 18 months about five years post diagnosis.  I was lost and unable to cope with the idea of living with diabetes, so I tried to ignore it.  I found out the hard way that doesn't work.

'You see a meal, I see a problem to solve'

Living with Type 1 is relentless - a non-stop series of numbers that you have to understand and act on.  Eating becomes something entirely different.  Sitting down at the table, you see a meal, I see a problem to solve.  What's my blood glucose level now?  How many grams of carbohydrate are in this?  How much insulin do I need to take?  Is it the kind of meal that means my levels will rise later on (I'm looking at you here pizza...)?  And you have that thought process every day, every time you eat.  There's little wonder that people with diabetes are more likely to develop an eating disorder compared to the rest of the population.

It's the little things that sometimes take the biggest toll.  Cutting short exercise because your blood sugar drops too low, or not even being able to start exercising in the first place.  Spending 50 quid on a glucose sensor and having it in the back of your mind every time you get changed because you don't want to knock it off.  Wishing you could take a shower without catching your cannula (or making sure you don't catch the tubing on a door handle because it's agonising when it pulls out when you least expect it).

'Shaking, sweating, dizzy and your heart pounding'

And then there's dealing with the extreme levels of blood sugar.  The lows (hypoglycaemia) that leaving you  shaking, sweating, dizzy and your heart pounding, scrambling for some fast acting glucose to get back to 'normal'.  I don't think I know what 'normal' is any more.  The other end of the spectrum is the highs (hyperglycaemia).  Feeling sick and sluggish, the insides of your eyes feel like treacle and you're left with an unquenchable thirst until you've taken insulin to bring you back down to 'normal' (there's that word again).

Finally there's the quiet voice at the back of your mind, reminding you about the potential complications of this... thing that I live with.  Compared to the general population, I'm twice as likely to have a stroke or heart attack.  I'm at risk of developing long term kidney and eye problems as well as neuropathy (loss of sensation in the feet and other extremities) which can in turn lead to potential amputation in later life.  You have to live for today, but tomorrow is never far from your mind.

I think you adapt quite quickly to living like this.  There's no alternative really - doing nothing will get you in all kinds of trouble really quickly.  One thing I've learned over the past 14 years is that you never stop learning.  Talking to other people with diabetes, going on courses, going to support groups... there's always something new to learn and your body will always throw you a curveball when you least expect it.

This is what Type 1 is to me.  A constant sea of numbers, staving off lows, fighting highs.  Being awake at 2am because I desperately need something to eat, or bleary eyed, I need insulin to combat high blood sugar.  Living with a chronic illness isn't easy - in fact it's downright exhausting sometimes.  But it hasn't kept me down yet and hopefully it won't in the future.

I wish

I wish that "what's my blood?" wasn't the first thing I thought every morning.  I wish that sometimes, waking with the all too familiar feeling of a dry mouth didn't set the tone for my entire day.  I wish that feeling light-headed at 6am didn't mean scrabbling around in the dark for jelly babies before I can have a shower.

I wish I could drive whenever I wanted.

I wish that sticking a needle in my fingers seven or eight times a day wasn't necessary.  I wish I didn't have to stick a needle in my stomach twice a week.

I wish I could go away for the night, for the weekend, for a week, without it feeling like a military operation.

I wish that being ill was just that - and not an assault on my entire body.

I wish that I didn't have to carry so much stuff around with me all the time.  I wish I didn't have to keep spare sets of everything all over the place.

I wish I could go for a run without ziplock bags of jelly babies.

I wish my blood sugar didn't have to dictate my mood.  I wish my partner understood my mood-swings.

I wish I didn't look at a plate of food and see numbers.  I wish guilty pleasures didn't try to punish me for hours afterwards.  I wish that carbs didn't sometimes feel like my enemy.

I wish it wasn't a fight.

I wish my brain would switch if off sometimes.  I wish I didn't think about test results.  I wish I didn't have a familiar hospital routine.

I wish I could go to bed when I was tired without needing permission from a finger-prick.

I wish that this list didn't represent every day of my life.  I wish that sometimes it was just a little bit easier.  I wish I could have a day off.

DPC16 - Impressions from Day 1

DPC Day 1

This is the standard ‘my first impressions’ blog about attending the Professional Conference.  I appreciate it’s probably a bit cliché, but hopefully it adds context to the rest of what you read about the conference.  Blogs on specific sessions will follow throughout the week (and probably into next week too).

No matter who you talk to, how much past experience you try and take on board, nothing can really prepare you for how BIG the Diabetes UK Professional Conference (DPC) is.

I felt like I’d had the benefit of a gentle lead into the chaos, having spent the day before the DPC at the Young Diabetologist & Endocrinologist Forum, running a couple of workshops with Kelly (@DiabeticQueen1) on what it’s really like to live with an insulin pump (I’ll save that for another time).  I’d had a day to get my bearings for the most part and I’d been through the session planner a week in advance so I had a good idea of what I wanted to see.

But DPC is BIG.  There’s over 3000 people at the conference, many of them great leaders in their fields, others desperate to hear them speak, even if it’s just for a short time.  Typically, there’s six sessions running concurrently with a few coffee breaks sprinkled in throughout the day in the huge exhibition room.  It sounds chaotic but it’s not.  It’s busy, but it’s an incredibly well-oiled machine.

Having hunted down our badges for the week, we piled into the main auditorium for the first round of lectures.  At this point it’s worth explaining how the day is split up – it sounds like overkill (and it’s a bit long to read here), but I think the context is important…

There’s roughly four big time blocks per day, each between 60 and 90 minutes long, each with an overarching theme.  There are six rooms that each run one of those time blocks concurrently.  And each time block contains two or three lectures.  That means in any given day, you’re likely to hear 10-12 individual talks across a variety of topics.  The 2016 Programme is here if you’re more of a visual person.

For the first day, I tried to split between things I had some interest in (it makes it easier to try and understand/write about), and things I felt were of a wider appeal.  Day 1 consisted of 14 individual talks:

Opening Plenary lecture session

•           The Relative Effectiveness of Pumps over MDI and Structured Education (REPOSE) – Simon Heller
•           Peptide Immunotherapy for Type 1 Diabetes – Colin Dayan
•           Exercise for beta cell preservation in Type 1 diabetes: The Exercise for Type One Diabetes (EXTOD) trial – Rob Andrews and Parth Nardendran

Multidisciplinary approaches to managing admissions for DKA session

•           A combined diabetes case manager and mental health approach for supporting people with multiple hyperglycaemic admissions – David Simmons
•           The role of emotional wellbeing in DKA and one care pathway approach – Kirsty MacLennan
•           Walking the tightrope of hyperglycaemia: education is not enough – Clare Shaban

Diabetes education: reaching the masses session

•           Taking Control campaign – Bridget Turner
•           Making the case for diabetes education – Charles Gostling, Helen Hopkinson, Alison White
•           Getting people there – Vivien Coates, Anne Scott
•           Adding options to the education menu – Sarah Newall, Rebecca Owen, Kingshuk Pal
•           Addressing specific local barriers – Tahseen Chowdhury, Seonaid Morrison

What’s new in hypoglycaemia session

•           Cardiovascular effects of hypoglycaemia – Simon Heller
•           Evidence based pathway for the management of problematic hypoglycaemia – Pratik Choudhary
• 
  
• Mary MacKinnon Lecture

•           West Hampshire Community Diabetes Service: re-commissioning community services and beyond – Kate Frayers

Fourteen talks across five broad subjects is a lot of information to take in.  I feel incredibly lucky to be here at the conference (and to have had the opportunity to speak for a few minutes within the Taking Control session) but it takes a lot of brain power to be on the go all the time.  Hopefully those of you following me (@BroomOwl) or the hashtag (#DPC16) on Twitter have got some sense of the huge amount of information being shared.  So back to the day…

The conference centre is big and you often find yourself rushing from one session into another, trying to grab a coffee on the way if you’re lucky enough.  The exhibition hall is where people tend to gravitate between sessions, though I’ll confess I’ve not actually taken a close look at anything there yet.

What really struck me was the mix of passion and knowledge on show, as well as the desire to make overwhelming change to the lives of people with diabetes.  That sounds a bit obvious really, but the sheer number of people devoting their time outside seeing patients to research, service changes and sharing best practice is really incredible.  It’s inspiring as a person with diabetes, I imagine as a healthcare professional it’s very motivating.

I’m writing this in the hotel bar at the end of the first day, reflecting back on what feels like a week’s worth of information I’ve had shoved into my head within the space of eight hours.  I’m trying to pick a favourite session, but it’s genuinely difficult.  I’ll freely admit some of them were very fast paced, and whilst I got the main messages from some, I couldn’t explain the research to you well enough.  Some (like REPOSE which I was a part of), were personally important to me, others, like the whole DKA session gave me something entirely new to think about.

Perhaps the one that struck the biggest chord with me was the education session.  REPOSE had shown in the morning that people using insulin pumps do no better than people on multiple daily injections (MDI) when proper high quality education is given.  The afternoon session showed that there were a huge group of committed individuals across the UK looking to deliver that message out to as many people as possible.  I’ll follow that up in a separate blog.

Thanks for reading my opening post, and thanks if you’re following along on Twitter.  Hopefully you’ll understand that a huge post on each lecture (or even session) is a bit impractical.  I’ll try and do one in detail and summarise some of the others along the way.

Don't stop me now

Training miles completed this week: 17
Total training miles completed: 129
Training miles left: 89 + taper off period
Training runs left: 16 (inc taper period)

Hello again - with 53 days to go until the big race - things are really starting to get serious.  

Last Friday saw me complete my last evening distance run (12 miles) in a pretty respectable 2 hours 11 minutes - an 11 minute mile pace.  It felt really good to do and it was my first run in what I'll actually wear for the marathon in April (unexpected heatwaves aside).  It was also very tough towards the end but I made it home relatively unscathed which is always the target.  I got my first blister but I'm not going to complain as it took more than 100 miles to appear.

I have to confess that when I got home, the thought of going back out and doing it all again (plus another 2 miles) was far from appealing, but I'm hoping that was more psychological as I'd paced myself for 12 miles and not 26.  We'll have to see how that goes over the next few weeks.

I did 5 miles tonight in 53 minutes - a best for me over that distance.  I was really surprised when I got in and saw that as I felt like I'd not paced myself properly and had very little energy while I was going round - particularly around 3.5 miles.  I guess the training is paying off and I'm able to work a bit harder than I expect.  Shorter distances afford me some leeway as well but the longer routes need to be a lot more disciplined.

The remaining weeks are very much a pattern of long run/short run, building up the distances as I go.  This coming weekend marks an important milestone for me.  It'll be the first run I've done under proper "marathon conditions" (i.e. up early ish and running from about 9:30am).  It'll also be the longest distance I've ever run and should give me an opportunity to banish the demons from 2008.  It feels as though the training has been building up to this run and I think it'll give me a massive boost physically and mentally if I can make it through intact.

I've got a bit more of an interesting diabetes update this week.  I realise my definition of "interesting" may be different from yours but...

I had an appointment with a diabetes specialist dietician last Thursday and it gave me a good chance to discuss what I eat now (and when) and what I should be eating to give me the best chance of getting round whilst managing my conditions.

What we found was that when I eat before running, my blood levels don't raise as much as she was expecting.  This could point to too much insulin (although I've tested previously and ruled that out to a degree).  She also said that what I'm currently eating for lunch (some salad leaves and grapes effectively) isn't really enough and I need to be eating more carbs and protein to build up muscle and improve glycogen stores for when I run.  She also mentioned that if I eat a few jelly babies every mile then it could reduce my chances of 'hitting the wall' at around mile 18 so that's good news.

We came to the conclusion that I really need to focus more on a running diet rather than trying to lose weight.  I've been trying to balance the two to a degree and I think it's more successful to shift my focus to running for the next two months and hope that the exercise will lead to some weight loss, albeit at a slower rate.

I've now started to incorporate rice cakes and fish/cheese into my lunch and I'm looking to switch to more chicken and pasta combos in the evening - particularly before a big run.

The other change I need to make is to reduce my insulin doses before and after a big run.  I have two types of insulin that I take (Background insulin twice a day, and quick acting insuling before each meal).  The exact amounts I need to reduce these doses by aren't clear yet and I'll need to experiment to understand what is best for me.  As a result, for the next few weeks, I'm going to have to take my blood sugar meter with me whilst I'm running to monitor my levels.  This should give me a guide ot managing my condition whilst I'm running.  Hopefully I won't crash too spectacularly this weekend!


It's all down to a combination of numbers now - mile times, sugar levels, insulin reduction percentages, carbs per mile to keep my sugar levels correct - it feels a bit overwhelming sometimes but it does come down to training and numbers - something I can conquer if I put my mind to it.

I'm going to stop blogging on my weight loss for the time being as it's not really my primary focus.  I'll still have a weekly weigh in, and I'll mention it occasionally, but it's not something I'll live or die by until May now.

No further fundraising at the moment - I've hit a bit of a plateau at the moment which is frustrating, but a number of people have pledged to donate before the race so I'm hoping I can still get close to £650 before I run.  I know £1000 was always ambitious but trying to get as close as possible remains my goal.  As always, all money raised is being split between Diabetes UK and The Sheffield Children's Hospital Charity - two very worthy causes.

If you've been following my progress for a while and would like to donate, please do consider giving just a couple of quid.  I know charitiable donations are often very personal things and so people rightly prioritise things that mean the most to them.  Every pound I raise will help and so please consider having one pint less this Friday night and clicking on the fundraising link above instead - it would mean a lot to me.

Thanks for sticking with this until the end, I appreciate it's been a bit long winded this week and I can be a bit boring at times, but hopefully it's given a bit of an insight into how things are going and what changes I'll need to make to get round the distance in April.

Your support has been fantastic and I'll do my best not to let you down.

Take care

Andy

Patched Up

Training miles completed this week: 10
Total training miles completed: 68.5
Training miles left: 177.5
Training runs left: 28 + taper off period

Hello - thank's for dropping by.

There are 95 days to go until the marathon - it's starting to feel very close now, and I've still not done over 6 miles yet.  But that's about to change quite quickly over the next few weeks.

I'm now heading into the stage of long run/short run, with the next two being a slight exception.  When I originally finalised my plan, I realised I'd ended up with all my distance runs mid week and my shorter runs at the weekend - and running 14 miles on a Tuesday or Wednesday night didn't seem appealing so I swapped at one week.  This coming week is the changeover week.

I've done 10 miles this week (4 and 6) and 10 miles are planned in next week (6.5 and 3.5) and then it's 2 miles a week extra on the distance run until the end of March.

The title of this week's post is a reference to how I'm feeling at the moment.  My foot aches quite a lot of the time now, particularly after the long runs and on Sunday, I felt some pain in one of my toes so I've strapped it up as a precaution.  I think at worst, it's a tiny stress fracture but there's no evidence of that really - I'm just being cautious.  I also felt a bit of a cold coming on this week but I think I've held it at bay for now.

I think that feeling like you're facing a constant battle is probably natural during any kind of training like this.  There's probably a lot to be said for mental fitness as well as physical fitness and I've overlooked that up until now.  I'll be trying to focus a lot more on the positives over the next few weeks.

Saturday's run went pretty well - 4 miles in a few seconds over 44 minutes was pleasing.  The 11 minute mile is nice, but realistically I know that as I start going further and further, that will probably push back out closer to the 12 mile mark overall.  It's not something I'm overly worried about, but it's good to be able to track what you're doing.  Another bonus was that it didn't feel too horrific getting up at 4am to fuel up before running.  As I get in to longer distances, I'll probably be leaving the house at a more sensible time so I can adjust my eating time accordingly.

I did 6 miles tonight in 65 minutes - consistent with my last run at this distance.  It might be a sign of how far I've come that I'm disappointed that I didn't do it faster.  I managed to run the first 3 miles without stopping which felt great - an actual sense of achievement.  I'm not sure if it's the cooler air, my determination to run whilst feeling patched up or the fact that I remembered I'd forgotten my inhaler and so paced myself a lot more but it felt a lot easier tonight than probably any other run I've done.  My foot started feeling heavy towards the end of it and I've not doubt it'll hurt tomorrow, but I'm celebrating while I can!  I may have mentioned that I was using Endomondo to track my runs.  Here's an example of tonight's 6 mile run (though you can see that the GPS is a bit off on the map) - I thought I'd share it with you.


It's been a very strange week from a diabetes perspective.  Since my run last Tuesday, I've really struggled to keep my blood sugar in check, but not in the way I've been used to. I've found that it's been really difficult to maintain a decent level and that I've crashed a few times a day.  Whilst it's obviously good to be having lower blood sugar, too low is as bad as too high and as I've mentioned before, it's walking that tightrope in between the two.

I've been experimenting by lowering my insulin doses with meals but it's a lot of trial and error at the moment.  I've got a consultant appointment at the hospital on Feb 1st so I'll be able to talk through it all in a lot more detail then - I'll just need to muddle through on my own until then.  Runsweet have a lot of good information and advice for people with diabetes but I'm wary of making any drastic adjustments without speaking to a doctor first - I think that's just sensible.

I was talking to someone last night about how frustrating it feels in many respects.  I've made a conscious effort to adjust my diet and get back into a proper diabetic regimen for a good few months now and it almost feels like I've got to start and learn how to do it all over again.  I think I probably just need to understand the science behind it and it'll hopefully be fairly straightforward.

A quick mention on diet and such as that feels like quite a good segue there.  I've started tracking my food through the MyFitnessPal which is giving me a good idea of how many calories I need to lose about 20lbs over 20 weeks.  It also helps track what I'm eating around training days and my carb levels (to aid insulin doses).  It's quite a useful tool.  I'm think I'll print off the reports to take along to the hospital in a couple of weeks.

Final quick update on sponsorship. A few very wonderful people have chipped in this last week and the total (exclusing gift aid) currently stands at £157 which is quite good I think.  You can keep an eye on progress, stay up to date with the latest blog and track the countdown to the main event by visting the fundraising page.  All the money is being split between DiabetesUK and The Sheffield Children's Hospital Charity and you can read about all their work by clicking on one of the links.

A hectic weekend meant I wasn't able to go out and get any pics for my Sheffield photobook, but I'm hoping to rectify that this weekend so I can get a good start on that.

I'll leave it there for this week - appreciate I've gone on a fair bit there so thanks for sticking with it to the end.  I mentioned a few weeks back that the end of this week was critical and it's really positive that I'm just about through it relatively unscathed.

Thanks for your support - the messages I get really mean a lot

Take care

Andy

So this is Christmas...

The eagle-eyed amongst you have probably spotted that I've been naming most of my recent blog posts after 'appropriate' song lyrics so this title should come as little surprise.


This is the penultimate post of 2011 so I'll be firmly on topic for today.  Next week's will be a bit of a mix of training progress and a 2011 review/2012 preview.


I'm a bit sketchy on my dates this week (blame the impending chaos of Christmas) but I think I've run twice since I last updated this - 6 miles in total.  I had a mostly very pleasant 2.5 mile jog round Centre Parcs (Sherwood Forest) on Saturday morning.  It would have been completely pleasant had I not accidentally run through a bush at the side of the road and cut my face.  Whilst this is apparently amusing, I didn't see the funny side at the time.


Tonight I've done 3.5 miles (a new best distance) in 39 minutes which is just inside a 12 minute mile time.  Here's the route:

I managed my most sustained period of running to date as well which was pleasing.  I managed all the way from the start marker (above) to practically the Crown & Cushion pub.  It's not that far (just over a mile) but it represents a lot to me which is good.  Being able to take that impact without needing a break is good and hopefully over the next few weeks I'll be able to improve on that.


I've got 3 runs left before January and I'm hoping I can get a decent 4 mile run in before New Year.  My fundraising page tells me I've got 123 days to go before the marathon.  I truly believe that if I keep chipping away at it, I'll get there no problem!


Being diabetic this week has been....challenging.  As you probably know we had a long weekend at Centre Parcs this weekend.  That basically involved eating out for 3 meals a day for the better part of 4 days.  It also meant more indulgences that a) I'm used to and b) should have.  I roughly managed my blood sugar OK.  By that I mean I probably did as best I could given how difficult it was to find time to test my blood and make an educated guess about what I was eating.  I managed a horrifying 20mmol on the Saturday morning, and swung the other way to 2.7mmol on Sunday night.


As I've probably mentioned a few times, it can be quite frustrating when you're not exercising the amount of control you should be and that was certainly true this weekend.  I also 'confirmed' something that I've suspected for a little while, which is that a bad diet, even for a short time, leads to migraines.  I was in tears with pain on Sunday night which is probably the worst I've been for a long time.  I also know that once it's started, it's a good 3 or 4 days before it subsides properly.  It's just even more of an incentive to eat properly I guess.  Apologies for that segue...


I shall sign off there for this week.  To summarise, running - good, diabetes - OK, diet - causes migraines.


Thanks ever so much for all your support and kind words since I started this blog, you're all incredible and I truly thank you for all your encouragement.  Hopefully I'll do you all proud next year.  Remember you can donate (or invite others to) at the fundraising link above.   I know the charities don't affect a lot of you personally and I wouldn't dream of asking you to support something you didn't want to.  But if you know anyone who might like to then please feel free to share the link to the blog.


I hope you all have a fantastic Christmas and a good break from work if you're taking one.


Merry Christmas


Andy

Inhaler

Hi - thanks for stopping by to read.


I'll start off with an apology - I feel like the last couple of (on topic) posts have had little variation of substance and it's unfair of me to expect you to keep reading if I'm not going to try to keep to a standard.  I'll be making a more concerted effort going forward.


This week has been a 3-run week and I've managed 7.5 miles since last Wednesday.  I was feeling somewhat under the weather last week so I did a smaller, 1.5 mile route just to keep some momentum.  Fortunately my man-flu had mostly subsided by Saturday morning and so I went for my longest distance to date and did 3 miles - something I repeated this evening.

Saturday morning was OK as things go.  I'd forgotten my inhaler before I left (I have mild asthma on top of everything else) and it was incredibly icy.  I managed the route in 40 minutes which felt OK considering the circumstances.  I wanted another crack at it without the ice slowing me down and did the same route in 37 minutes tonight - roughly on track for 12 minute miles.


The problem is that I feel like I'm my own worst enemy sometimes.  I got about a mile into my run tonight before I started with stitch again.  I'd been round Leeds Christmas market after work tonight and naively thought that a German sausage then wouldn't hurt before I came home to go running.  What I neglected to tell myself is that it was still only a couple of hours before and that being in a different city doesn't actually make a difference.   I need to be a lot stricter and more disciplined with myself because silly things like that don't help.


The good news is that I'm starting to believe that I can actually make it round 26 miles if I continue to be sensible.  I'm not usually low on self belief, but I'm wary of jinxing myself a bit with this.  When I'm out running, I feel like I can actually do it and that sort of belief is pushing me on.


I'm taking a lot of care when I run and I'm getting better at measuring my stride so I'm not coming down off a curb onto my bad foot and I'm not pushing off with it going back up a curb either.  I'm also starting to feel like I can open up my stride a bit and push myself a bit more.


I've had a bit of a roller-coaster week diabetes wise.  I had a work Christmas do on Friday and I had a decent reading before bed (6 ish if I remember correctly) but it was 20.5 when I woke up Saturday morning!  In trying to correct that I ended up going low three times that day and I've felt like I've hit peaks and troughs since then rather than any real stability.   I mentioned a few weeks ago that I was sort of anticipating this with Christmas coming up.  I just need to work extra hard to keep it in check over the next few weeks now.  If I was consistently getting high readings I'd be concerned but it's just a product of the time of year I think.  Hopefully I can keep it relatively under control.


I've also finalised my fund raising page on Virgin Money Giving today - you can see it here: AndyRunsTheMarathon2012  I also gave myself the first donation to kick start it.  I've talked about the charities a fair bit over the last week or two so please feel free to skip back a few posts and read up about the work they do.  I wanted to just briefly talk about my fundraising goal before I sign off.


My aim is to raise what I'd like to think is a relatively modest amount of money for each charity - namely £500 each.  It's not a lot in the scheme of things as far as the charities themselves are concerned (for examples, it's only about 12% of the funds The Children's Hospital need just to run their diabetes camp for kids for one summer - let alone the rest of their projects) but it's a target I think I can achieve.


I worked out that if every one of my Twitter followers gave £2 (less than the price of a pint as I understand it) then I'd reach my goal with money to spare.  I'm not for a single second suggesting that I'd expect or even ask that they would, but it's just an illustration of why I think it's achievable.  I've put £50 in myself to start and hopefully that'll grow and grow over the coming months.  I'm committing that my company will make up any shortfall to the £1000 total but I'll also put in £500 extra if I can raise more than £1000 in total.  I know Christmas isn't the best time to discuss these things, especially given the current financial climate, but I wanted to just talk about my goals for fundraising and given you my honest viewpoint on what I'm trying to do.


This has been a bit of a longer post than I'd anticipated so I'll leave it there.  I need to rest my foot a bit as the aches, whilst not crippling, are worse after a run and I could do with my feet up for half an hour before bed.


Thanks again for reading (if you made it this far) and don't forget you can always find me for a chat on Twitter (@BroomOwl) or drop me an e-mail (broomowl@gmail.com).


Take care and I'll update you in my last blog before Christmas next week


Andy

Push things forward

Good evening


Firstly, apologies for this being a bit late.  I was feeling somewhat dreadful yesterday and wasn't feeling up to doing anything.  I hope you'll forgive the tardiness on this occasion.


Secondly, I just wanted to mention a few people who I've talked to this week.  Firstly, congrats to @actualdancrosby who, by his own admission could run very far at all early on in the year, completed a 10K run at the weekend in a respectable time.   Secondly, @Simple_John1 who mentioned to me this week that despite no interest in running or diabetes, he still takes the time to read this every week.  That gives me a decent indication that there's some substance in what I'm writing which is nice to know.


I'm writing this evening having just got back from a 2 mile run.  Circumstance has meant that I've done it not too long after having had dinner so I laboured round with a bit of a stitch again.  It's certainly not something I'll be making a habit of.


I also had a sly look at my time tonight which I haven't really done so far.  I ran 12 minute miles which I guess isn't too bad considering.  That'd be a marathon time of 5hrs 12 if I can maintain that.  I'd like to think I can get down to 11 minute miles by April but that's an aside.  Finishing is my goal.


I'm getting towards the stage where I need to be doing some more intensive training so I'm thinking about trying for 3 runs in a week and entering a 10K or something in the new year.  More on that next time I think.


Having felt a bit under the weather and such I've been tempted to resort to a bit of comfort eating (made all the more tempting having made gingerbread with my daughter at the weekend).  I've coped pretty well with that all things considered.  I've mostly resisted the callings of biscuits and sidestepped a tricky situation with a Kit Kat on Tuesday.  I also seem to have reduced the number of hypos I have which is a good thing.  Being able to stay in the 5 to 8mmol range is pretty good.  I'll have a better idea of how well it's been going after my clinic appointment in December.


Finally, I wanted to have a brief mention of one of my charities.  Whilst I'm sure you can all see my reasons for running for Diabetes UK (@DiabetesUK) but I felt like I should explain my reasons for supporting The Children's Hospital Charity (@tchcharity).


I suppose my reasons are two-fold.  Firstly, becoming a parent has made me appreciate all the work that children's charities do a whole lot more than I ever did.  Secondly, before my daughter was born, the doctor told me that because I have diabetes, there's about a 17% chance that she will get it as well.  And that's something I find very hard to deal with - I have pangs of guilt that I could labour her with this condition which seems so unfair.  The money I raise for TCH will go towards a diabetes camp they have for children.  I think I've mentioned before that I can't imagine a child having to cope with this condition while they're growing up and the work that TCH do feels so incredibly worthwhile.


Once again, thanks again for stopping by and reading - I do appreciate you taking the time to read.  I find it very motivating and it keeps me going when it's a bit cold and blustery outside.  You can find me on Twitter (@BroomOwl) or on broomowl@gmail.com if you fancy a chat.


Take care and I'll speak to you again soon


Andy

Stepping up

Hello.

So it's November already - this means I have 171 days to go until Marathon Day - it still feels ages away but I know it's going to come round quickly.

As the title of this post suggests, I'm making an effort to step up my training slightly this week.  I'm targeting 2 runs this week, both with longer distances, though nothing too outrageous just yet.

I did just over 1.5 miles on Monday night - a cunning ploy to try avoid answering the door to Trick or Treaters.  I felt really good after it - no real pain at all which makes me cautiously optimisitc (although I'm been here before so I'm still erring on the side of caution).  And I only managed to get heckled by two lots of kids dressed up as who knows what.

My plan for this week is to go out again tomorrow night (Thursday) which will mean 2 runs in 4 days.  Under normal circumstances I'd have left it an extra day or so but family commitments mean I can't.  That will put the total number of training miles at a huge 5.  It feels somewhat pathetic saying that but there's still a long way to go yet, and the groundwork I put in now will pay off later.

I also created my fundraising page for next year.  Normally I wouldn't like to put a jinx on it, but there was a prize draw to win accomodation in London for the marathon and some running gear if you set on up before November.  If you want to take a look it's here - somewhat imaginatively titled Andy Runs The Marathon 2012 Perhaps I should leave the PR to some of you eh?

I'm running for two charities - Diabetes UK and The Children's Hosptial Charity in Sheffield.  Choosing a charity is difficult but it's a lot easier to pick something close to your heart (as diabetes obviously is).  The Children's Hospital Charity allow you to specify where your money will go to and I'll be donating it towards diabetes work for children.  I can't really begin to imagine how a child copes with this and so I feel like I'm doing a little bit to help with this.  You can read more about each of them by following these links: Diabetes UK and The Children's Hospital Charity

Please don't take that as a subtle hint for donations. I think it's far too early for that and I'd hate to disappoint all of you as well as myself if the worst should happen.  Besides, I'll be far more explicit when I want your money...

Diabetes-wise, things have been going well.  As half of my weekend was spent out in various shops (Meadowhall and IKEA) I ended up eating out twice which was nice but obviously at odds with my diet and a bit of a struggle when it came to insulin.  I overcalculated a touch on Saturday so had a low blood sugar episode but did better on Sunday which was good.  I think I've only had one high reading since my last post (12.4mmol) but I can pinpoint that being due to indulging in a test slice of freshly made parkin.

I thought I'd just talk briefly about what low blood sugar means for me.  When I get low blood sugar (or hypoglycemia) I always get warning signs which is good news.  Without those I could have dangerously low sugar levels and possibly collapse - not an ideal solution for anyone.  My hands start to shake a bit and it gets difficult to concentrate on what I'm thinking or saying - it's a bit like your brain turning to cotton wool.  I occasionally get a feeling a bit similar to an adrenaline rush and I'm very conscious of my heart beating which is quite odd.  More recently I've noticed that my nose gets cold.  All in all, it's not very attractive to witness.  Plus I get quite short tempered which doesn't help.  During the day this I can cope OK but when your body wakes you up at 2am and your shaking, correcting that hypo is a lot more challenging.  I'm not sure if this is the same for everyone - I assume it differs a little bit from person to person.

I've probably taken up quite a lot of your time so I'll end it there.  As always, I'm on Twitter (@BroomOwl) for a general natter or you can contact me on broomowl@gmail.com.  If you're interested in learning more about my charities, they're also on Twitter (@DiabetesUK and @tchcharity).

Thanks for reading - I appreciate you giving up your time

Take care

Andy