Week Seven - Ups and Downs

On their debut album 'Love, And Other Catastrophes" the aptly named Skint & Demoralised sang about major highs, manic lows and that's a little what this last week has felt like.

When it's been good, it's been really good.  When it's been bad, well... it's been bad.

Having diabetes has felt like a lot more of a job this last week as you'll see below.  Yesterday in particular ended up with me curled up, asleep on the sofa at about 3pm with a nice hypo headache.

I talked about distractions last week and that's still the name of the game right now.  A combination of things mean that I worked til 9:30pm - 10pm three days running (having stopped for dinner and half a film).  Normally I'd be cursing even the need to work after about 6pm, let alone actually doing it, but it felt strangely calm - almost relaxing - to have something to keep my find focused.  It also had the benefit of making me feel almost productive at some point too.

I talked a bit about managing the voices/thoughts last week too and that's still been very challenging at times, particularly when trying to switch off at night.  I'd taken to kind of half going to bed, but staying up til gone midnight some nights over the last few weeks just so I could exhaust myself.  The problem with that is that it's a great short-term fix but long term you end up asleep on the sofa on a Sunday afternoon.

And I think that's almost been a lot of lockdown in a nutshell - some of the short term difficulties can be managed, but I'm not sure I've figured out how to do it in a sustainable way that doesn't just create a different problem to solve another time.

Worth mentioning a few of the highlights as well just to remember the highs as well as the lows:

1. Made Australian Crunch over the weekend - proper throwback to school dinner desserts and one of the best chocolate things going (Galaxy milk choc on top for best effect)
2. Bought a new Xbox and played a lot of Lego Marvel Superheroes with Violet
3. Managed to run 10km (with Violet on her bike) on Sunday - first time over that distance in a year, and awarded myself this medal from a virtual race

Finally, I know I've been really lucky to be able to call on a couple of close friends who have helped me be objective and rational (for me at least) and taken the edge of some of those manic times. I won't name names, but if you're reading this and it sounds like you, it probably is.  Thanks.

I guess the message is the same.  It's hard sometimes, and lockdown life makes it harder to manage and to escape.  One of Violet's favourite quotes is this from John Lennon.  I find it hard to believe in it sometimes and it almost feels a little but trite, but to hear a 10 year old say it every so often does give you some hope

Stay safe x

Diabetes Is...

November 14th is World Diabetes Day.  I'd been thinking about this post from March 2016 a bit recently and wanted to offer a different perspective when talking about the hard facts of living with a chronic condition.  I've lived with Type 1 diabetes for a little of 15 years and every day throws up new challenges and new things to learn.

Diabetes is sitting in your kitchen alone at 2am, eating because you've woken up shaking as your body alerts you to another episode of hypoglycaemia (low blood glucose).

Diabetes is lonely.

Diabetes is feeling like every snack and every meal is a challenge to be overcome.  Counting carb values, measuring blood glucose, calculating insulin doses and sometimes just hoping for the best.

Diabetes is relentless.

Diabetes is sticking yourself with a needle about 50 times a week, whether it's finger-prick tests for glucose levels, or a cannula in your stomach to deliver insulin.

Diabetes is invasive.

Diabetes is desperately searching for a shop that sells batteries, because your insulin pump is almost our of power and without it you'll almost certainly be hospitalised inside 12 hours.

Diabetes is frantic.

Diabetes is trips to your GP, to eye screening appointments, to hospital clinics, and to pharmacies.

Diabetes is clinical.

Diabetes is that unquenchable thirst, stiff joints, that shattered feeling and the blurred vision that can only mean your blood glucose is way too high.

Diabetes is tiring.

Diabetes is doing the same thing two days in a row and getting hugely different results for reasons you can't possibly figure out.

Diabetes is frustrating.

Diabetes is being reminded of your own mortality whenever you go for a check up.  Your eyesight, kidneys function, feet, and overall sensation are all things you fight to protect and preserve on a daily basis.

Diabetes is serious.

Diabetes is being stereotyped by media more concerned with headlines and sensationalism that science and fact.  It's being the punchline to jokes that simply aren't funny.

Diabetes is misunderstood.

Diabetes is planning and packing a bag full of supplies (and spares) for even one night away from home, let alone a proper holiday.

Diabetes is not for the spontaneous.

Diabetes is being susceptible to your environment - knowing that the temperature, time of day, or your level of exertion (to name just three) can affect your blood glucose.

Diabetes is all encompassing.

Diabetes is treating yourself to a takeaway on a Friday night and hoping you get your insulin dose correct otherwise you'll be paying for it in the middle of the night.

Diabetes is hard.

Diabetes is a huge strain on your mental well-being - and with all these things to contend with every minute of every day, it's hardly a surprise.

Diabetes is exhausting.

Diabetes is having friends to rely on who help you through the tough days, and celebrate the successes with you.

Diabetes is a community.

Diabetes is celebrating small wins - like waking up with a 'normal' blood glucose reading which never seems to happen as often as it should.

Diabetes is a success (sometimes!)

Diabetes is an individual condition and doesn't affect everyone in exactly the same way.  What works for some doesn't work for others.

Diabetes is like this (for me).

This isn't to suggest that it's doom and gloom the entire time because it really isn't.  I can eat what I want, do what I want and manage to look after myself pretty well.  But diabetes is very much an "invisible illness" that needs 24/7 management and that's a huge amount of self-care for anyone to take on.  It might look easy but it takes a lot of hard work to make it appear that way.

If you've got this far, thanks for reading.  Happy World Diabetes Day!

Rainswept

The most intense training week I've probably ever had is finally behind me...and I actually feel pretty good about it.

If you remember from last week, I was planning on 2, 3, 4 and 5 mile runs this week, using the shorter ones to try and have some actual speed and the longer ones to translate that into some pace over more miles.

Family and charity commitments over the next week or so meant I actually had to pull one of Week 4's runs forward into this week so I had an additional 6 mile effort in there too, making it 20 miles for two consecutive weeks which is something to be pretty proud of!

To say I've done 5 runs in 7 days (something I've never attempted before) I feel pretty good and my times have reflected that.   My average pace across the last 20 miles is 9:26 minute miles compared with an average of 10:13 for the previous week.

I know for most people, they aren't anything amazing to write home about (and I look at others on Twitter who are training for the same race and they're a lot faster).  The one thing about marathon running is that for 99% of people entering you're only really racing yourself - it doesn't matter how everyone else does so I'm trying not to pay too much attention to other people and just focus on doing what I'm doing.

I talked last time about how conditions are something you need to bear in mind when running and managing your diabetes.  This week the weather has given me a fair few challenges, varying between warm sunshine and monsoon rain.  Fortunately I've managed to take most of that in my stride (pun unintended).

The most difficult run this week was the 6 miler this morning (Sunday).  Having been out four times already meant I was pretty tired but I'd had one of those nights with my diabetes that meant it was all the more difficult to motivate myself to get going.  I'd replaced my cannula just before bed as the adhesive had lost its usefulness but this is something you should generally avoid because if you put the new one in wrong and you don't get insulin properly, it can be pretty catastrophic and you're unlikely to know during the night.

For some reason I still don't understand, the new one only lasted about 20 minutes so I was still up at nearly midnight putting a third cannula in (and sticking it down with surgical tape to be certain).  To make sure I was going to be OK, I set an alarm for 1:30am to get up and check my blood glucose (which was fortunately OK).  I then had a hypo at 5:30am so I was up again to eat and raise my blood before I set off to run.  That's a fairly good (but thankfully rare) example of a diabetes rollercoaster - highs and lows and the physical strain of dealing with everything in between too.

Thankfully I managed to get round in a pretty decent time and made it home in the rain before it properly bucketed it down.

Next week is relatively easy, two runs and some non-impact/strength work. I'll be doing 5 miles tomorrow (Monday) and then 12 miles on Thursday after work.  That definitely won't be fun as I'm not a huge fan of doing my long runs midweek, but needs must this time.  The distances are going to start getting bigger pretty quickly now so the next 6 weeks are crucial now.

I'll finish, as always, with a mention of the fantastic work that Diabetes UK do and why I'm raising money for them.  Living with diabetes isn't an easy thing to do a lot of the time.  Having a self managed chronic illness  takes a lot out you and knowing there's someone there who can support you is an incredible help.  Diabetes UK offer that help and support to millions of people like me who need it and to say it makes actually living life easier is a huge understatement.  If you can spare anything to help me reach my £1,000 target for 2014, then please visit http:www.justgiving.com/broomhead - I'm incredibly grateful for your support.

Thanks

Peas in a pod

So that’s week two out of the way and my first 20 mile week since late January/early Feb.  As usual, it had its ups and downs with a pretty good 5 miler followed up by a pretty atrocious one, all rounded off with an average 10 mile run at the weekend.

 

While I was out and about, it struck me how many similarities there are between running and having diabetes:

 

·         They’re both unpredictable.  Take my two 5 mile runs.  The first was excellent – one of the fastest I’ve done in months, and my 7thfastest time of the year.  I came back feeling really pleased and confident that I had finally started to get to a place where I could push on and start to make some serious progress.  The second of those runs a few days later was abysmal.  I’d prepared in the same way I usually do – checked my blood, had a couple of jelly babies to stop my blood going low while I was running, had a few puffs on my inhaler to help my breathing and did a few (albeit brief) stretches.  After 3 miles I was a wreck – with an aching back, pain in my left side and I couldn’t catch my breath (and worse still, my inhaler I carry with me had run out).  Now I’ve been running long enough to know things like that will happen without any obvious reason and having diabetes can be the same.  You can have one day where your blood glucose readings are pretty much ‘perfect’ and the next day, you’ll do exactly the same things, weigh your carbs out as usual and your blood glucose levels will be bouncing around between painfully high or sickeningly low.  Being able to accept that and try and again the next day is key.

 

·         They’re both affected by many things.   Obviously things like the terrain, route and weather will affect how you run.  Running uphill on uneven ground will definitely yield different results to running on a nice flat, even path.  Well it definitely will for me at least.  Diabetes is very similar.  Insulin absorption is affected by temperature (it absorbs faster when it’s warm) so you need to think about how your body will behave differently in the heat of summer compared to cooler days.  A lot of people with diabetes will tell you that they have more hypos in the summer.  Even the time of day has an effect on the amount of insulin you need.  Many people have different insulin to carb ratios at different times of the day and a lot of people also see a rise in blood glucose in the morning, which may mean they need more insulin first thing.  Foods with higher fat content will affect the rate at which carbohydrates are absorbed into the bloodstream which means you need to adjust the way in which you administer insulin.   Being aware of the things that are going to affect you is important.

 

·         They both require proper planning.   I foolishly underestimated the weather on Saturday morning as I set off for my 10 mile effort.  It was overcast and a bit breezy so I set off in a t-shirt with a litre of water, thinking I’d have some to spare by the time I got home.  After about 6 miles, the sun had broken through the clouds, it had got a lot muggier and I was rationing my water to make sure I had enough to get me through the last mile.  I got home cursing myself for not starting with an extra half a litre and a running vest.  A lot of my life is given over to planning how to manage diabetes.  I went to a wedding on Saturday night and stayed over in a nearby hotel.  Fortunately it was little over an hour away from home so I decided not to take my usual bag full of spares and supplies, but still made sure I had a couple of spare cannulas and my inserter with me just in case.  I’d refilled my pump with insulin after my run that morning so I knew I’d be OK for insulin (a full pump will last me at least 3 days).  Really I should have packed a spare vial, a couple of reservoirs for the pump, plus all the kit in case the pump failed and I had to revert to pens.  I took a chance that being relatively close to home meant I’d be able to sort it out fairly quickly if anything went seriously awry.  That said, I still forgot extra blood testing strips so had to ration them a bit.  Not great when my evening readings started to go high and I wanted to keep checking!  Prior planning will affect performance.

 

·         They’re both tiring.  This might be an obvious one in some sense but it’s definitely a big similarity.  Obviously running make you tired and running on a muggy summer’s morning makes you extra tired.  Thankfully my legs recovered pretty quickly after this 20 mile week.  It’ll get harder as the weekly miles increase (and I know I’ll start to feel the longer runs when they start!)  Having diabetes is quite frankly exhausting sometimes.  Not so much physically, but mentally it can take its toll.  A lot of the self-management becomes second nature after a while.  You keep your medication and supplies in the same place, you can almost test your blood without looking and inject or use a pump as a reflex.  But as I mentioned in another post I wrote for Diabetes UK, it can be difficult to switch off from diabetes.  You constantly have to consider whether you have enough insulin to get through the day, when the battery on your pump will run out, how many carbs are present in a biscuit that someone brings into work…. The list feels never ending, and having to manage all that information in your mind 24/7 takes its toll.  If you ask people with diabetes what they want more than anything, I’d wager the most popular answer to that question (besides “a cure”) would be “a day off”.  We all know what it’s like to be tired and being able to manage that as best we can is all we can do.

 

I could go on and on with that list, but I’ve rambled a fair bit already.  This week is supposed to be an “easy” week to let your body adapt to the training.  I’m mostly going to adhere to that philosophy but I might stick an extra run in so instead of doing 2, 4 and 5 miles, there’ll be an extra 3 miler in there to help me try and rediscover that confidence I had at the start of last week.  I can also use the shorter runs to focus on pace and the longer runs to practice holding  steady pace for longer distances.  It all depends what I can fit in really.

 

Finally, as always, a word about why I’m doing all this (besides the promise of a medal at the end of it all!)  I’m raising money for Diabetes UK who are the leading charity who care for and campaign on behalf of all people with diabetes in the UK.  As you may know, I’m involved in some of the work they do already by writing a monthly blog for their site as well as being chairman of the Sheffield Group of Diabetes UK.  The work the charity does benefit millions of people across the country who can struggle to manage their condition and have their voice heard when it comes to getting the appropriate level of healthcare and support.  I’ve had diabetes for 13 years and still rely a lot on the support they offer – these services are so valuable for people who have either type of diabetes, regardless of how long they’ve had it.

 

If you can spare anything at all, please help me try and raise £1000 ahead of the Yorkshire Marathon in October by visiting  http://www.justgiving.com/broomhead and donating whatever you can.

 

Thanks

 

Andy