Diabetes and Resilience - a child's explanation

As part of the fundraising and awareness work I do for the Sheffield Group of Diabetes UK I asked my daughter's primary school whether they'd be interested in getting all the kids to wear blue and make a donation for World Diabetes Day last month.

Each term the school has a "mindset" which they use to promote positive behaviour to children through a variety of different ways.  This term's mindset is resilience.   So whilst they'd already got Children in Need plans on that Friday, they asked me if I'd like to come in to an assembly and talk about how resilience is important when you have diabetes.

Now over the years, I've become pretty handy at talking about diabetes within my peer group, and especially when talking to other people with diabetes.  But talking to 200 odd children is a different proposition.  Most of the time, I'm using words and phrases like 'bolus', 'carb counting', 'peer support', 'care outcomes', 'HbA1c' and many others.  These are things you say when you've become used to the diabetes lingo that is common place for many of us.  

So how do you talk about diabetes to a large group with no prior understanding, and an age range of 4 to 11...  The answer is probably "I don't know", but that makes for a short blog.  So here's (roughly) what I said - you'll note some scientific license has been applied to a few parts.  That's not ignorance on my part, but a necessary modification for my audience.

Hopefully they found it useful in some way...

I'm going to talk about three things this morning.  Firstly I'm going to tell you a bit about what diabetes is.  Then I'll tell you what I think of when I hear the word 'resilience' and lastly, I'll talk about why resilience is important to diabetes.

So what is diabetes?  Well it's a special kind of illness that you have all the time, but you can't see.  And once you've got it, you have it forever, because there isn't a cure for it.  But it's not something you can catch off another person, so there's no need to worry about that.

When you all have something to eat, your bodies produce something called insulin inside.  That helps all the energy from your food get out of your blood and into your muscles so you can play at lunch time, and do your school work.

If you have Type 1 diabetes like me, then your body doesn't produce any insulin at all and so you have to inject it yourself.  And that's what I have to do.  Normally, you'd give yourself an injection every time you eat something, plus an extra one in the morning, and an extra one before bed.  So you could have to give yourself 5 or 6 injections each day.

You also have to give yourself little blood tests each day.  You get a little drop of blood from your finger and test it with a special machine that tells you if you've had the right amount of insulin.

There's also a different kind of diabetes called Type 2 diabetes.  People with Type 2 diabetes don't have to inject themselves, but usually do have to take a different kind of medicine every day in some little tablets.

When you have diabetes, it's really important to eat healthily.  It's OK to have treats like cake or chocolate sometimes, but it's important to make sure you have lots of fruit and vegetables every day.

Now I'd like to tell you what I think of when I hear the word 'resilience'.  I often think it's about how you cope with change.  Being resilient means that you have to learn to do things differently, keep going and not give up.  It can also mean having to do things when you don't think you can.  And that's why when you have diabetes, being resilient is really important.

When you get diabetes, you have to learn to do things differently.  Before, you might have gone out and have something to eat with your friends.  But when you have diabetes you have to remember to take your insulin with you, and your special machine  you use for your blood tests.  You also have to think more carefully about what you eat and how much insulin you have to inject.

You have to keep going and not give up.  Even if you're finding it difficult to keep injecting yourself, you have to be resilient and keep going.  If you don't inject yourself, you could get very poorly very quickly, and so that mindset of resilience in important.

And you have to do things even when you think you can't.  Sometimes, you don't want to get a drop of blood from your finger because you know it's going to hurt.  But you do it anyway because it's important you do the test to know how much insulin to have.

It isn't always easy having diabetes, but being resilient helps a lot.

Pain

A very rare post from me on my own blog.

 

I keep a lot of plates spinning most of the time, and sadly that means some fall to the ground from time to time.  I maintain a monthly blog over on the Diabetes UK website, but rarely seem to find time to come back here.

 

At the weekend, I finished my last competitive run for 2015.  That took my yearly mileage to 1066 (just short of 151 hours in total).  I’ve been tired for a while and the last couple of miles on Sunday felt like a real struggle.  Having finished, I feel like I’ve shifted some pressure off myself which is a much bigger sense of relief than I’d expected.

 

Switching off that area of my brain (for the most part at least) has been nice.  I’d lost the sense of why I enjoyed running and it felt like a job I had to do, rather than something I wanted to do.  Hopefully a few weeks off will allow me to regain some perspective.

 

The problem with switching your attention off something is that it doesn’t really allow you time to actually relax – that fleeting spare capacity is merely taken over by something else.  Last night as I was finding it somewhat difficult to fall asleep, I became reacquainted with pain, and suddenly became conscious of every small niggle and ache that I’d ignored for the last few months.

 

I’m quite lucky with my diabetes that (touch wood), it doesn’t really cause me much direct pain.  There’s the occasional time I’ll half press the button on the needle before doing a finger-prick test because I know it’s going to be more ‘uncomfortable’ than usual.  There’s also the extra deep breath and moment of hesitation before I insert a new cannula because I can’t see the hidden bruises beneath the skin.  Sticking a needle (even a short one) into a bruise you can’t see is extraordinarily unpleasant. 

 

After 13 years, I’m pretty much prepared for these daily pangs, though I’m not beyond muttering the odd expletive under my breath from time to time.  But I’m lucky.  I’ve got a chronic illness and it doesn’t cause me constant pain or discomfort and I can mostly live my life without giving it much thought.  (As I type that, I realise my cannula is currently in at a non-work friendly height as I bash it against the desk…)

 

But laid in bed last night I just felt pain everywhere.  Laying perfectly still, I could feel throbbing in my foot, a sharp pain in my ankle, an ache across my neck and shoulder... not constant, unbearable pain, just a dull sense of something not being right – a reminder that whilst I might occasionally live like I’m 20 years old, I’m definitely not.  And despite thinking that I’ve managed diabetes into a place where it plays a supporting role in my life as opposed to being the leading light, that’s really not true.  As much as I’d rather not admit it, diabetes deserves respect.  But only enough to keep it in line, not so much as it takes over my life.

 

I’m trying to allow myself to take it easy for the next couple of weeks.  Not switching off from everything, but reducing the amount of time I give over to certain things.  I’ve got fewer early morning runs to accommodate and my charity commitments for the year will mostly be over in a couple of weeks.  Christmas is around the corner and it’s the one certain time I can spend with family and friends without the distractions that the other 50 weeks of the year often bring.

 

Stay happy.

A little information can be a dangerous thing

Yesterday CrossFit caused what modern media would call a "Twitter storm".  Other people would call it a disagreement, a difference of opinion or simply a mistake.  Modern media loves hyperbole - me, not so much.

It started with this:

It's reasonable to say that this was certainly offensive to many people.  It's equally fair to say that what it's insinuating (Coca Cola causes diabetes) is also untrue.

I saw this shared a few times on Twitter and did so myself, highlighting to friends how inappropriate it was.  All the responses to that tweet were pointing out why the message was wrong, how insulting it could be and how people personally affected by diabetes had taken offence.

You'd expect CrossFit to realise the error of their ways, apologise and everyone could move on.  What they did instead was post a link to an article about how sugar was linked to diabetes.

At this stage it's worth pointing out a few facts, specifically that there are two types of diabetes.  Type 1 diabetes is an auto-immune condition and the cause isn't clearly known.  It typically presents in younger people but can do so in adults.  Type 2 diabetes is generally (but not always) brought on by being overweight and partaking in limited physical activity.  Gender, age, ethnicity and genetics also play a big part in determining if someone is more likely to get Type 2 diabetes.  

As you'd expect, a few people challenged Cross Fit about their link and as you can probably guess, CrossFit didn't really stop to think about what they were saying or how it was perceived.  Their next tweet said:

That's not true.  You can only have Type 1 diabetes or Type 2 diabetes.  You can't have both.  You can become more resistant to insulin over time if you have Type 1, but that doesn't mean you have Type 2 diabetes.

As you can imagine by now, this cycle of posting inaccurate information, only for it to be challenged by the knowledgeable diabetes online community continued.  One such tweet (since deleted by the CrossFit team) said this:

"and yet our point that diabetics shouldn't be drinking liquid sugar remains perfectly valid"

That's an incredibly dangerous and inaccurate thing to say.  It's also fairly irresponsible when you consider that over 293,000 people follow the CrossFit account (and some who aren't as well informed about diabetes are likely to believe it to be true).

For someone like me who has Type 1 diabetes, actually following that "advice" is potentially life threatening.  If I was having an episode of low blood sugar (hypoglycemia), something like Coca Cola would be absolutely necessary to stop me losing consciousness (and possibly my life).

It's easy to jump on the back of CrossFit (or at least whoever was in charge of their Twitter account yesterday) but I think the problem is more wide ranging than one errant social media account.  

The wider media perception of diabetes is that it's not necessarily all that serious, that everyone who has it does so through their own fault, and that by eating less sugar it's all entirely preventable.  For people living with the condition, it's both insulting and intimidating.  Attaching that level of stigma to a chronic illness is very irresponsible and can lead to people withdrawing, being scared to talk about their condition and not managing it correctly.

There's also some sort of implication that diabetes is fair game for jokes.  You don't see the same sort of things for other conditions like cancer (and rightly so I should add) because it's incredibly serious, life threatening and no-one's fault that they have it.  What people don't realise about diabetes is that all these things can apply equally.

At the start of 2015, Jamie Oliver apologised when being pictured next to a giant coke can with "Diabetes" written on the side in the Coca Cola font, stating that he was actually trying to highlight the lack of water in some American schools, where children were picking up sugar laden soft drinks  as there was no other choice.

As someone with diabetes, I don't expect everyone to know as much about it as I do or to understand how difficult it can be to live with.  Before I got diagnosed, I barely knew anything about it, but equally I didn't claim to know anything about it either.

As a person (diabetes or otherwise), I do expect those in a position to influence others (be it newspapers like the Daily Mail, or CrossFit twitter accounts) to report or comment on something serious after they've properly researched the full facts.  Passing off ill-informed opinions can have serious implications for millions of people and ultimately it's irresponsible to do anything other than be crystal clear with the truth.

The irony is that an active lifestyle is one of the best things you can do to help manage diabetes of either kind, and to help prevent Type 2 diabetes.  CrossFit seemed to be in the perfect position to use the facts to highlight how what they offer can benefit a lot of people.  Instead they chose to try and pull off something smug and fortunately it seemed to backfire.

Overnight (in the UK, during the day across the pond), it continued to rumble on.  There's something quite unsettling about watching an organisation who are clearly in the wrong continue to try and justify and defend their behaviour:

Firstly, as you can see above, "offending the sensitive" is apparently a small price to pay to ill-inform people.  For the record, I personally don't believe drinking excess amounts of anything is particularly good for you, not least Coca Cola.  But I also know that obesity is the link to Type 2 diabetes.  Excessive sugar consumption will most likely lead to obesity, in the same way that excessive consumption of anything calorific will do.  Eating sugar does not directly cause diabetes of any type.   Eating (or drinking) 'treat' foods (those higher in fat and sugar) should be done so in moderation.  Eating fresh fruit, vegetables, lean meat and some carbs is a balanced healthy diet.  But I say again, you can't get diabetes from eating sugar.

Next up, (just cut off at the top - sorry) is a triple whammy.  Firstly stating that any apology would be insincere, followed by a confirmation that making jokes about chronic illness is OK, and finished off, perhaps most staggeringly of all, by a tweet expressing disappointment about the "misinformation about diabetes and the role sugar plays in causing it".

If you've made it this far, the irony that CrossFit are the ones presenting misinformation is probably not lost on you.  Also EATING SUGAR DOESN'T GIVE YOU DIABETES.

CrossFit kept on pulling the trigger stating that if they have to insult "the sensitive" they will.  Well they don't have to insult anyone, 'sensitive' or otherwise.  They could just listen, understand and be more accurate in what they say.  Finally, they return to the scene of an earlier crime, stating that people with Type 1 diabetes can develop Type 2 diabetes.  No they can't.  Type 2 diabetes (as discussed way back at the beginning) essentially means your pancreas produces some insulin, even the tiniest amount.  Type 1 diabetes means your pancreas has no functioning beta cells (that produce insulin).  These two conditions are at odds - you can have one or the other, but not both.

At the time of writing this, I've not seen an actual apology from CrossFit for the way they misrepresented the facts.  They did post a few (subsequently deleted) tweets saying it should have been clear  they were only talking about Type 2 diabetes.  It wasn't clear, and it certainly wouldn't really have been any more accurate anyway.

They also posted this on Facebook:

When they say "the link between sugar and Type 2 diabetes is undeniable", they really should be talking about the link between obesity and Type 2 diabetes.

The also posted this on Twitter (highlighting that they absolutely haven't apologised):

I don't need an apology to make me feel better.  I know enough about diabetes to not need their validation or permission to do what I want.  I do want them to apologise for being lazy and irresponsible with their language that perpetuates the stigma of diabetes.

There's a reasonable chance you're reading this because you know me in some way, so you've probably read a lot of the science that distinguishes between Type 1 and Type 2 and nodded along.  Other people with a lot less experience of diabetes (like me 15 years ago!) simply do not know (and we shouldn't necessarily expect them to know) the difference, and are likely to be guided by the 'facts' that companies like CrossFit have misrepresented over the last 24 hours or so.

If you want facts about diabetes in this country, visit the Diabetes UK "Guide to Diabetes" page where you'll get accurate information.  Don't rely on companies with gimmicks to tell you the truth about something complicated.

There's a daily struggle to change that stigma that many people are subjected to that says having diabetes is your fault and you're to blame.  Some diabetes is preventable, but a lot of it (including all Type 1 diabetes) simply is not.  CrossFit haven't helped do anything to change that stigma and stereotyping and I think that's a real shame.

Apologies this has been long winded, but highlighting and disproving 'claims' like the ones CrossFit made today is really the only way that the perception will gradually begin to change and people with diabetes will stop being bullied, stigmatised, stereotyped and blamed about their condition.  We wouldn't put up with it for other long term illnesses, why should we stand by and accept it for diabetes?

CrossFit - #ImNotYourHomie

Diabetes And Me

A blog on here is sadly a rare thing these days.  It’s not that there’s nothing to say, it’s that there’s less and less time available to write any of it down (though I still have my regular post over on the Diabetes UK Blog site)!  That said, I felt inspired to pen something, however brief for Diabetes Week.

This year’s theme is “Diabetes & Me” and having already read so many wonderful posts I thought I’d throw my own opinion into the mix.

Put simply, I truly believe that since the start of 2013 I’ve been able to control and understand my (type 1) diabetes more successfully than I had in the previous 10 or 11 years and that the reason for that is threefold:

1.       Finally running out of excuses and actually attending a DAFNE course – a complete step change for the better
2.       Having regular opportunities to speak to people with diabetes face-to-face at local group meetings and other events
3.       Being involved in part of the wider diabetes online community through Twitter in particular

I’m sure I’m banging the same drum as many other people, certainly with respect to that last point, but the effect that talking about your own experiences of diabetes with others who completely understand everything you’re saying is unquantifiable.  We’re all members of a club we wouldn’t have joined by choice, but those things that unite us are the same things that we can use to support each other when things aren’t going to plan.

At the end of the day, those ‘every day’ experiences like hypos, carb counting, finger prick tests, hypers, tiredness like no other – they’re all things that people who aren’t in the club can’t understand in the way we do.

I recently spoke at an event in Sheffield where GPs had come to learn more about diabetes and I made the point that over 99.9% of the time someone has diabetes, they’re managing it all by themselves.  It’s down to us to become experts in our own right and education and peer support are the foundations that we build on.

I went over 10 years without speaking to another person who was the same as me.  Ten years of never speaking to another person who knew how sickening it can be to have a hypo.  Ten years of not really understanding how fattier food can affect my BG levels.  Ten years without feeling like anyone else understood what I was going through.

It’s incredible to look back on that today and feel so much more secure in how to deal with whatever diabetes throws at me.  It can be incredibly nerve wracking to open up to people about your diabetes, but I can promise you the benefits you’ll get will be incredible.

If you’re on Twitter, you can look me up @BroomOwl and if you’re in the Sheffield area, I chair the Sheffield Group of Diabetes UK who meet monthly.  More details about what we do and how we can support you are on our website

Happy Diabetes Week

Top 20 of 2014

Hi

I've given up on writing a new intro for this - it's going to be the same every year so we should all make our peace with it now.

Below is my Top 20 of 2014 but a few words before you continue...

You won't agree with me.  Some of you will think I'm pretentious for including a raft of songs you've never heard of.  Some of you will think I'm too 'mainstream' in my choices.  Some of you will think this is a massive exercise in showing off.  And that's fine.  My opinion is no better or worse than yours and my choices are no more or less valid than yours would be.  This is just my opinion - you might not like it but I can't help that.  But before you grumble to yourself or tell me I'm an idiot, try and do this yourself.

The "rules" are simple - any song that has been released (as a single, on an album or even as demo/give-away) is eligible to be included.  Pick 20 that represent your favourite and don't include more than one per artist.   I added a rule of my own where I'd limit myself to maximum one choice where collaborations had occurred.  So for example, both Arctic Monkeys and Alex Turner individually made the 2011 Longlist but I would limit myself to a choice from one.  This is only to add variety.  You can find the Top 20 of 2011, Top 20 of 2012 and Top 20 of 2013 by following the links.

The list presented below is given as Track name - Artist (Album).  They are not ranked in order of preference or greatness but rather the order in which I personally think they make a good playlist.  I'd love to hear what you think so get involved in the comments or tweet me @BroooOwl and tag your posts #top20of2014

1.  Southern Comfort - The Orwells (Disgraceland)   This is quite simply guitars and drawling lyrics and superbness.  In my opinion, the album has some absolute belters like this (and Bathroom Tile Blues) and this is a great way to kick off this year's list.

2.  My Silver Lining - First Aid Kit (Stay Gold)   First Aid Kit are probably top of my list of bands to see live.  I'm yet to see them perform much to my own disappointment.  I love their country twang and this song is quintessential FAK for me.

3.  When You Walk In The Room - Architecture in Helsinki (NOW +4EVA)   Another band I'm determined to see live at some point in the future.  This is proper pop gold and jumps out from an excellent album.  Their previous albums are all a little different so well worth checking out too.

4.  Love Test - The Growlers (Chinese Fountain)   The Growlers' album has a very 50s feel to it which is hard to describe until you listen to it.  It's almost as if you'd expect to hear Buddy Holly vocals over the top of it.  I came across this pretty late this year but it's an instant favourite and this track particularly is excellent.

5. Banging On My Door - High Hazels (High Hazels)   There's a couple of albums where picking a favourite is almost a coin toss and this is one of those.  The opening track has a hint of Vampire Weekend about it, whilst others are reminiscent of Alex Turner solo work.  Banging On My Door just edged it in the end but you should get the album - I can't do it justice here.

6.  It's Not Serious - Hospitality (Trouble)   This just flows from the start and has a chorus that you'll be humming to yourself for hours afterwards.  It's the stand out track on the album for me but quite some way,

7.  Pretty Girls - Little Dragon (Nabuma Rubberband)   I've been in love with Little Dragon for years since hearing "Ritual Union" (hunt it down and listen to it!) and whilst this isn't quite up to that impossibly high standard, it is very good.

8.  Quiet Love - Erland And The Carnival (Closing Time)   Another album where you could stick a pin in the track list and pick a winner.  I was tempted to include "Daughter" because I personally find it very moving but on balance I think this is my favourite track from an exceptional album.

9.  My Sad Captains - Elbow (The Taking Off And Landing Of Everything)   Guy Garvey is criminally under-rated in my opinion.  His ability to write such fantastic songs goes over-looked by most people and really that ought to change.  I was lucky enough to see Elbow this year and they didn't disappoint.  This is simply fantastic.

10.  Are You OK? - Dum Dum Girls (Too True)   If you're after a throwback to some cool 80s girl group sound then stop everything and listen to this.  If I didn't know better, I'd swear it was a Bananarama track and think what you like but there's nothing wrong with that at all.  

11.  Gooey - Glass Animals (Zaba)  Slowing things down a bit with is Glass Animals.  It's a peculiar but good album and this really stands out for me.  It's difficult to explain so it probably makes more sense if you just have a listen - I think you'll enjoy it.

12.  Pretend - Tinashe (Aquarius)  I had Tinashe described to me as "a bit like Aaliyah" which is really all you should need to know if we're being honest.  The album doesn't disappoint and whilst I think this suffers slightly for the inclusion of A$AP Rocky I can overlook it given how much I like the song overall. 

13.  How You Got That Girl - Ex Hex (Rips)   You could almost describe Ex Hex as Dum Dum Girls with attitude.  The guitars are excellent and this is one you'll be nodding along to.  My daughter loves the chorus and I think it's a bit of late 90s throwback which you can't help but like.

14.  Pumpkin Noir - Happyness (Weird Little Birthday)   Slow, soft and subtle.  There's just something about this that makes you feel like you're sitting in an Ohio field on a summer's day.  It has a very familiar quality that I can't pin down but I absolutely love it.

15.  Zombie - Jamie T (Carry On The Grudge)   The album that'd I'd been most eagerly waiting for in 2014 didn't disappoint.  As with most music, Jamie T isn't necessarily for everyone (which is fine) but I really love the images his music conjures up.  I defy anyone to listen to "Zombie" and not be tapping along by the start of the second chorus.  

16.  Alone In My Home - Jack White (Lazaretto)   An odd love/hate relationship with Jack White this year for me.  The album is great and this track is exceptional.  My live experience was a disaster but I'm not holding that against him (I'm sure he's relieved to hear that...).   Jack White does a lot and does it all very well - this is no different.

17.  Sexotheque - La Roux (Trouble In Paradise)   I'm glad La Roux is back this year.  It's been five long years since her self titled debut with it's myriad catchy hits and I'm glad there's a second record.  Where 'Trouble In Paradise' is catchy, it's very catchy and "Sexotheque" is one such place - enjoy!

18.  Lonely Daze - Kate Tempest (Everybody Down)   I'm fairly sure there's nothing I can say about Kate Tempest that hasn't already been said a lot better by other people a million times before.  It's hard to pick out a track from an album that tells one story across all the tracks but this is a wonderful snapshot.

19.  Suffering You Suffering Me - Slow Club (Complete Surrender)   Slow Club go from strength to strength with every record and I'm immensely happy to already have tickets to see their home-town gig in Sheffield next year.  I adore Rebecca Taylor's voice and it's at its best on this song.  Another album where choosing a favourite is damn near impossible.  

20.  Red Eyes - The War On Drugs (Lost In The Dream)   I'll admit I was a little surprised to see 'Lost In The Dream' at the top of so many 2014 album lists.  It was one of those I don't remember how I found but I've definitely enjoyed listening to it.  "Red Eyes" is the stand out one for me and a great way to close the 2014 list.

As with last year, there's some music I've been disappointed in, some other good albums that didn't make the cut and others that I'm ashamed to say I've not even managed to buy yet!  The Royal Blood album didn't do it for me (which is sure to make me unpopular in a lot of circles).  I saw them support Arctic Monkeys and gave them the benefit of the doubt but it's just not for me I'm afraid.   Amen Dunes and their Love album just missed out as did Catfish & The Bottlemen and (surprisingly) Kylie.  For those who would point me in the direction of Sharon Van Etten, St Vincent or Future Islands, in some ways I'm way ahead of you, but in others, I'm obviously way behind.  My apologies.

The "award" for my Album of the Year this year is a no-brainer.  Everybody Down is absolutely without doubt one of the best things I've listened to in the last 5 years (and that's saying something).   Kate Tempest is supremely talented and has already achieved so much without so many of us even realising it.  Listen to her album, buy her poetry and just be overawed. 

The 2014 Live Performance Of The Year is also reserved for Kate Tempest.  When you've listened to the album (which again, I insist you do), try and imagine what it would be like hearing it performed live.  Ahead of the show I couldn't quite see how it would work and not lose the essence that makes the music so good.  Watching her walk out to a HUGE amount of music and then kick of "Marshall Law" acapella to a hushed room was probably my favourite music moment of the year.

If you made it this far, then thanks for reading.  Hopefully you'll find something new you've not heard before.  We'll do it again this time next year eh?

Happy New Year

Andy

Top 20 of 2014 - The Longlist

Hello

Its that time of year where I start reviewing the new music I've listened to over the past year.

If you're not too familiar with the approach, you can see the 2011 Longlist and 2011 Shortlist posts by clicking the links.  The 2012 Longlist and 2012 Shortlist are also here if you fancy reading, whilst last year's can be found on the 2013 Longlist and 2013 Shortlist links!  Basically anything which has been released since Jan 1st 2014 is eligible.  I've narrowed down about 45 albums and EPs to a Long list of 92 tracks.  I'll then go through and select a Top 20 of 2014.

It's a good way to review the year and find some new music along the way.  Hope you enjoy.

Cheers

Artist	Album	Track
Amen Dunes	Love	Lonely Richard
Amen Dunes	Love	Splits Are Parted
Amen Dunes	Love	Sixteen
Architecture in Helsinki	NOW +4EVA	When You Walk In The Room
Architecture in Helsinki	NOW +4EVA	Dream a Little Crazy
Architecture in Helsinki	NOW +4EVA	Boom (4EVA)
Architecture in Helsinki	NOW +4EVA	Born to Convince You
Black Angels	Clear Lake Forest	Sunday Evening
Black Keys	Turn Blue	In Time
Black Keys	Turn Blue	10 Lovers
Catfish & The Bottlemen	The Balcony	Homesick
Catfish & The Bottlemen	The Balcony	Fallout
Cloud Boat	Model Of You	All On Of My Years
Conor Oberst	Upside Down Mountain	Kick
Conor Oberst	Upside Down Mountain	Zigzagging Toward The Light
Dum Dum Girls	Too True	Rimbaud Eyes
Dum Dum Girls	Too True	Are You OK?
Dum Dum Girls	Too True	Too True To Be Good
Dum Dum Girls	Too True	Trouble Is My Name
Elbow	The Taking Off and Landing of Everything	Charge
Elbow	The Taking Off and Landing of Everything	Fly Boy Blue/Lunette
Elbow	The Taking Off and Landing of Everything	My Sad Captains
Erland & The Carnival	Closing Time	Closing Time
Erland & The Carnival	Closing Time	Quiet Love
Erland & The Carnival	Closing Time	Birth of a Nation
Erland & The Carnival	Closing Time	Daughter
Ex Hex	Rips	How You Got That Girl
Ex Hex	Rips	Hot and Cold
Ex Hex	Rips	New Kid
First Aid Kit	Stay Gold	My Silver Lining
First Aid Kit	Stay Gold	Master Pretender
First Aid Kit	Stay Gold	Waitress Song
Glass Animals	Zaba	Gooey
Happyness	Weird Little Birthday	Pumpkin Noir
High Hazels	High Hazels	Valencia
High Hazels	High Hazels	Banging On My Door
High Hazels	High Hazels	Night Song
High Hazels	High Hazels	Hanging Moon
Hospitality	Trouble	Nightingale
Hospitality	Trouble	Going Out
Hospitality	Trouble	I Miss Your Bones
Hospitality	Trouble	It's Not Serious
Jack White	Lazaretto	Three Women
Jack White	Lazaretto	Lazaretto
Jack White	Lazaretto	Bat Black Liquorice
Jack White	Lazaretto	Alone In My Home
Jamie T	Carry On The Grudge	Limits Lie
Jamie T	Carry On The Grudge	Don't You Find
Jamie T	Carry On The Grudge	Zombie
Jamie T	Carry On The Grudge	The Prophet
Jungle	Jungle	Accelerate
Jungle	Jungle	Busy Earnin'
Jungle	Jungle	Julia
Kate Tempest	Everybody Down	Marshall Law
Kate Tempest	Everybody Down	Lonely Daze
Kylie	Kiss Me Once	Into The Blue
Kylie	Kiss Me Once	Million Miles
Kylie	Kiss Me Once	Feels So Good
La Roux	Trouble in Paradise	Kiss And Not Tell
La Roux	Trouble in Paradise	Sexotheque
Lana Del Rey	Ultraviolence	Cruel World
Lana Del Rey	Ultraviolence	Fucked My Way Up To The Top
Little Dragon	Nabuma Rubberband	Mirror
Little Dragon	Nabuma Rubberband	Pretty Girls
Mac DeMarco	Salad Days	Salad Days
Michael A Grammar	Michael A Grammar	The Day I Come Alive
Michael A Grammar	Michael A Grammar	Suzanna
Michael A Grammar	Michael A Grammar	Nature's Child
Slow Club	Complete Surrender	Tears Of Joy
Slow Club	Complete Surrender	Suffering You Suffering Me
Slow Club	Complete Surrender	Not Mine To Love
Slow Club	Complete Surrender	Complete Surrender
The Growlers	Chinese Fountain	Big Toe
The Growlers	Chinese Fountain	Going Gets Tough
The Growlers	Chinese Fountain	Love Test
The Horrors	Luminous	Chasing Shadows
The Horrors	Luminous	First Day of Spring
The Horrors	Luminous	So Now You Know
The Orwells	Disgraceland	Southern Comfort
The Orwells	Disgraceland	The Righteous One
The Orwells	Disgraceland	Bathroom Tile Blues
The Orwells	Disgraceland	Let It Burn
The Proper Ornaments	Wooden Head	Gone
The Proper Ornaments	Wooden Head	Sun
The War on Drugs	Lost In The Dream	Red Eyes
Tinashe	Aquarius	Pretend
Tinashe	Aquarius	All Hands On Deck
Tinashe	Aquarius	Far Side of the Moon
TVOTR	Seeds	Careful you
TVOTR	Seeds	Could You
We have band	Movements	Someone
We have band	Movements	Please

6489

So this is my final blog post anywhere before Sunday's Yorkshire Marathon attempt.

I say attempt because that's exactly what it is.  Despite all the training and hard work that's lead me up to this point, there's absolutely no guarantees of anything and I need to carry this determination over the start line and around York to get me to the end.

That's not to say I don't feel prepared because I think I am.  Definitely more so than I was two and a half years ago in London.  I've paid a lot more attention to my diet and training and I've focused on more than simply just logging miles.

I said recently that almost every day this year has been a lead up to this race.  Whilst I know I don't have anything to prove to anyone, I still feel like I owe myself something - that the first time I did a marathon wasn't really a true reflection of what I might be capable of.

I boldly said at the start of the year that I could knock an hour off my last time (5:30:41) and I still think that with some good conditions and a little bit of luck, that might be possible on Sunday. I think 4:45 is a more achievable time but I'm not going to put any pressure on myself to do anything until 18 or 19 miles in.

Experience tells me that the last 7-8 miles are the hardest and I'm hoping I can put myself in contention with something I can personally be proud of at that point.   If not, then maybe it just wasn't my day and whatever happens, I'll be glad to get round.

I read somewhere recently that running a marathon has become "normalised" to some degree.  Back in 1981 when the first London Marathon was staged, running 26.2 miles was a rare thing that few people outside of elite athletes even attempted.  My dad doing the 1989 marathon was what hooked me in from an early age.

Nowadays there are so many opportunities open to people that want to go that full distance (which I think is fantastic), but what I think it means is the effort that goes into preparing for a marathon gets lost.  Basically it's incredibly hard work for your average Joe like me. 

To give you some idea of what it takes to get to the start line, I've run 507.33 miles so far this year - roughly the distance from Sheffield to John and I've spent 86 hours, 16 minutes and 25 seconds training.  It's a huge commitment and it's very tiring.   But compare that to 2012 when I'd logged just under 195 miles (and just 36 hours running) it's a huge step forward.

Whilst running is mostly fun (and running in a big race with a big crowd is almost certainly the closest I'll ever get to being a rock star), it also has it's downsides.  It can be very painful, at distances over about 18 miles it can make you want to be horribly sick and you can ache in places you never knew existed.

Of course I have to manage diabetes alongside all that too which makes it a little more complicated.  I'm hoping I've had enough practice this year to have a clear strategy set out, and I'm hoping the jelly babies I'll be scoffing every few miles won't make me throw up (though you never can tell.

In short, I'm not taking anything for granted, but I'm hoping I can get round in a reasonable time and do so without injuring myself!

In 2012 I spent the day before the race watching The Hunger Games at the Odeon in Leicester Square.  This year I'll be at a networking day for Diabetes UK (conveniently held in York) meeting volunteers and other local group members, before having dinner and an early night.  It's good to have something to take my mind off it all and I'm hoping there'll be a lot to think about which will distract me whilst I'm running the next day.

Going to York is very much like going home, as I lived there for 10 years, and the start/finish will be at York University where I studied for four years.  I'm hoping it'll be a great weekend all round.

Finally, I just want to thank everyone who's supported me in one way or another.  I've received a lot of encouragement from friends and family and it's been great to see so many people generously donate to Diabetes UK.  I've raised £635 so far and I'm really hoping I can make it to £1000 before the end of the year.  I won't tell you all again, how much good that money will do (check any of my last blogs to see what I mean) but trust me, it really will make such a huge difference.  If you want to donate, then please visit http://www.justgiving.com/broomhead or text BROO81 10 to 7007 to donate £10.

I'll see you all on the other side with the verdict on how it went.

Thanks for reading.

Andy